Hello once again everyone, this is the ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. Today we're ganna start a reoccurring series of posts. As many of you may be aware I have recently rekindled my love for Warhammer 40,000 after a 12 year hiatus and have begun collecting the armies of the Dark Eldar. So in this series of "Kabals Of Thespious" I will be talking about what it is like to collect the armies, paint them and how they perform as an army. I'll also be posting battle reports when they happen as well as my general thoughts of current affairs and news.
So without any further ado some background on the Dark Eldar... From my point of view of course!
(http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=Dark+Eldar#/d49ne8h) For this awesome artists post...just so awesome!
So for those who don't know a lot about the Dark Eldar or who they are, they are basically a splinter sub race of Space Elves who populate the Milky Way galaxy. In their disregard for the consequences of their actions, through thousands upon thousands of blood orgies and other questionable acts. The daemon God Slaanesh was born. Through that birth cry the majority of the Eldar were whipped from the face of the galaxy. Some chose to repent their ways and act as guardians of fate. The others saw no need to change, found a nice little section of the web way (a large parallel dimension which the Eldar built) and just carried on. However there's only so much pleasure you can get out of blood orgies, and with their souls being slowly drained away by the God Slaanesh, the dark Eldar sought new ways to extend and enrich their lives. Then one fated Dark Eldar thought (probably) to himself "you know what? Lets fucking start a bar fight!" and as this blessed man made the people around him wallow in pain, he found his soul being enriched. It was through this the Dark Eldar began to torture and kill thousands upon thousands of slaves to prolong their fate of being 'nomed' a gooden by a God and so they can orgasm of the pure thrill on it. And this is what they've been doing for thousands upon thousands of years. Capturing Slaves, making them work the factories and then ether torturing them to death or some other un-godly form of dealing pain.
Now, we can spend a metric age on discussing the different aspects of Dark Eldar society and all the different types of evil and twisted things that enhabit the dark city of Commorragh (the place where all Dark Eldar live!) however it will take far to long to fit in but one introductory post. If you wanna learn more specifics ether check out 1d4chan's extensive page on the Dark Eldar or buy yourself the Dark Eldar Codex.
However in the interest of time, I'll only give you a quick crash course in some of the units that feature in my army.
(warning this army is by no means cannon. I'm pretty sure this army is in a lot of dark Eldar players heads however)
So let's introduce some key members them:
Archon Thespious: Me... pretty much, though in Dark Eldar form... maybe he has a blog on different forms of Dark Eldar entertainment however it would be far, far, far too dark to post on this blog. He started the Kabal as a splinter faction. 10% of the profits made by the the Kabal go towards bribes to keep in good regard with some of the larger Kabals. (Thespious is a total Vect fan boy!)
Haemonculus Victor: I'm sure he'd enjoy long works in the park and holidays to a small time suburb, but Victor would soon ether start setting the plants on fire or killing all the people he could see so he sticks to his tower. When he does decide to come down from his tower or venture into real space he does so with an army at his side, often ether a few hundred warriors or his pet Talos Pain Engine. It's not sure if his body guard are there to protect Victor... or to protect others from Victor.
Sybarite Malice: A true expert in his field, Malice excels in keeping those under his command safe and issuing the orders to his squad from there the Archon or from Victor. He fights like a freshly awoken daemon and never falls into bodies parts to keep him stood are removed. He's famous for this poison whip and his armor that seeps with the blood of his enemies. He's been killed many times however his master always brings him back from the dead via regrowth in the torture pits.
Talos Pain Engine Tali: Origins of what/who Tali was before it became a Talos Pain engine are unclear. Some say it used to be a pretty young Dark Eldar woman who out of jealousy was murdered and her body sent to Victor, others state that Tali is the remains of many dead warriors attached together via dark mysterious sciences. All that is known is that Tali is kept in cryostasis within Victors' dark tower. Once Tali has reached the battle ground he is awoken, charging straight into enemy lines killing all that stand in its way. It's current known kill tally include; 7 assault marines, 23 Tau fire warriors, 2 crisis battle suits, 2 stealth suits 4 tactical marines and many many more in its only short time of being created.
Kabal warrior Mr Pointy: He looked at his weapon and thought to himself "you know what I need? More spikes!" And oh lord did he get them. He covered himself and his weapon in as many spikes as he could get his hands on. (Mr pointy should so be a special character ... just saying GW)
So those are the individuals but what about the army as a whole? How does it play?
Well as many of you may know it's been remarked that the Dark Eldar are a difficult army to play and they're not kidding! Out of the 8 matches I've had I've won 2 (should have been 3). This being because most of the time their armor save is garbage! For wyches you're looking at a 6+ save, warriors a 5+ and Total armor value of a Raider being 11 all round. The army is utterly made of paper... paper made of TINY razor blades. Dark Eldar Kabal warriors are the definition of death via shooting! Hitting on 3's wounding ALWAYS on 4's meaning more often that not at least half of your attacks are wounding... accompany this with a splinter racks on a raider and you're killing entire squads at a time. Furthermore Pain Engines serve as close combat monsters, with their 3 wounds and 3+ armor save it's staying in the fight long enough to kill plenty of units and with its d6 attacks ... well put it this way, once the Pain Engine reaches its target IT'S DYING! there's no question about that!
However for me the biggest problem is keeping my stuff alive long enough to kill the enemy I'm facing. I hope the addition of Incubi and more Raiders will help my army start winning more matches. And some help from the laughing God wouldn't go amiss.
Well that's all for this post, just a small introduction of what I'll be doing with this series I hope to get some battle reports to tell you guys about as soon as I can. Also expect another post tomorrow as I round off the year some interesting Top 10s. As always thank you for taking the time to read this, if you have a positive or negative response please let me know in the comments on facebook or just bellow this blog. Feel free to share the shit out of it if you want. I want to spread the awesomeness to as many people as possible (and try and let me know if you're reading these, and those who I may not know personally don't be shy, leave your thoughts here as well.
My name's been Thespian Hunter.I love to HOIST THE FLAG!!!!!! and I'll catch you next time.
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