Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Thesp Plays - Pokemon Random Emerald Nuzlocke Part 2 I hate Birds!

Hello once again ladies and gentlemen to this written account of a Pokemon Random play through

So what has happened since? Well.... I CAPTURED A HAUNTER!


This is both a blessing and a curse. See the thing is, this is now the second 'ghost' Pokemon we have in our team. Which to be honest, being immune to physical moves is a God send. Particularly considering the second gym leader uses fighting types. This however does mean we're pretty much relying on Staryu during the first gym battle, unless we can find another water type before hand. I'm silently (well not now obviously) optimistic about our chances in that fight.

After this we spent a considerable amount of time training wild Pokemon and Pokemon belonging to punk ass trainers along the way. Which was considerably easy due to the lack of attacks that actually effected my two ghost types. The trainers are identical to those in legit Emerald and so I won't bore you with ALL the fights, I'll only hone in on important ones. Our team after reaching the next time looked something like this....


Lil Stunner toke a pounding from a Shroomish if you're wondering.

We enter the new town and enter the local gym leader, we walk down and introduce ourselves...


It's .... our Dad?? After all these years of ... well we don't know, we can only assume that he's no longer living with our Mum...has he found himself a Pokemon mistress ? Is it a Jynx? And after all this time the first thing he says to his only son is "Well, if it isn't Thesp!" as if it hasn't been years of them being apart? Wow... no wonder mum left you!
Anyway this comes close to being a real heart felt moment when this bastard runs in ruining it all....


He says some shit about wanting a Pokemon so he can capture his first. Our dad asks us to follow him to make sure he doesn't get dropped like a sack of spuds. 
He sucessfully captures his shitty little Ralts and we go back to tell dad what I skid mark of society this guy is.


he thanks us for our time and tells us that we need to collect badges if we wish to face our father on the battle field, and that he will be a tough cookie to crunch. Taking this in our stride we say bye to our Dad and continue on... when
This guy randomly comes up to us... calls us too 'clean' to be a a pokemon trainer... and walks off again... quite randon we step into the grass along to path only to find




A MOTHER FUCKING ZAPDOS!!!!!


Which we accidetly kill before we get a chance to capture it... we came close... but not close enough... Having this lower our spirits we battle the first trainers we come across to vent some anger and wonder into the forest. Hopefully we can capture another Pokemon as awesome as a Zapdos, but this time not kill it before we have the chance... maybe next time we can capture.....


Oh... could be better.... *sigh*

Well that's all I got time for this week... Be sure to check up Next week for the next installment... Ill get to the next town and we'll pick up from there.. until then, ive been ThespianHunter... And ill catch you with a great ball!

 

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Thesp Plays - Pokemon Random Emerald Nuzlocke Part 1

Part 1: A Start To A Beautiful Friendship

Hello my followers welcome to the first installment of this written account of a let's play. I'll be playing a hacked version of Pokemon Emerald which causes all pokemon encountered to be totally randon... even the starters.

For those not familiar to the Nuzlocke rules; these are the rules I will be following


  • When I Pokemon dies it must be put into a 'GraveYard' box and left there. Pokemon that have died cannot be used during the remainder of the play-through.
  • I can only capture the first pokemon I encounter in each new area. For example I can only capture one Pokemon (if I was playing Fire Red) from Mount Moon and not from each level within Mount Moon. I must ALSO release any Pokemon I capture twice.
  • I can only heal in battle. No using potions outside of battle, however status effects CAN be healed outside of combat.
  • No using TM's
  • I must nickname every Pokemon I capture
  • No use of master balls.
  • I can use ONE revive during the ENTIRE play-through and ONLY one. 

Now we got that out of the way... Let's begin.

So why Emerald, I hear you ask? Well after 3rd gen I start to lose interest in the different pokemon types. Furthermore this is the only one I've actually completed and probably most importantly it's the only one I could find a randomizer version of.


We're firstly introduced by this wanker here. He refers to himself as Prof BIRCH (or as well shall nickname him: Pro BITCH. He tells us about all the wonders of the pokemon world and tells us that we have a very long and difficult journey ahead of us.

 
Being the kinda pedophile who talks to totally random kids without even knowing their name or even gender, well tell him that we are indeed of Male gender... we then have a little look at the weird person we'll be playing as... Apparently Pokemon masters like stupid hair cuts. 


Just in case you forgot, we'll be using the name Thesp for this play-through. Why they chose that names arn't longer than seven letters long, ill never know. But regardless. That's our name (arn't we getting far)
We then cut to a show of us being transported in what seems to be a delivery van, which makes sense cause we've just moved here. But has our mother not heard of health and safety. As we exity the van when it comes to a stop, we're then greeted by our mother who looks fucking chuffed to bits that we hadn't died during the journey 


 Then, in what I can only describe as the most stupid sentence I've ever heard in my life. She tells us that the MOVER'S Pokemon are MOVING us... Well not shit Mum! We then run upstairs to check on our new room and pick up our first potion, which we'll need in keeping our pokemon alive.

After coming back down stairs our mum tells us that our father (some big time Gym Leader) is on the telly, however we miss him by mere seconds. She then informs us that we have people living next door and that Prof BITCH is our fathers old friend. So we search him out.
After seeing a large building we run into it to find that it's a giant lab we ask this smart ass assistant who says that BITCH is out in the field. Upon discovering this and being up able to go out into the wild due to how fucking dangerous it is, we instead go into the house next door
There we find the cute girl named MAY, who has a pokemon. She tells us that she's been having some form of wet dream about pokemon all being her friends and that she would meet a boy like us (she totally wants the D guys, but can she handle the D?)

After having little one on one with MAY we go out into the wild to find that BITCH is having is ass handed to him by a Zigzagoon and asks us to pick a Pokemon to help him out.

 The first pokemon is a Quilava, which I would have got if I didn't feel bad about getting a Starter on the random roll (and one of the best at that) so I turn it down

 Next is a fucking Wailmer... which ... dudes, Wailmers are shite. I ain't picking that.
 Lastly is a Staryu, which I decide upon not only due to the fact I like it as a Pokemon, but also because Staryus get special attack moves REALLY early on, which will be good against rock, fire and some Lightning types. A good little pick.

Then (and I apologies dearly for this) when it comes to naming the Pokemon, we hit a glitch that forces it's name to be Staryu, however I'll change this to something else asap.

BITCH then tells us that we have to meet his Daughter further north to... well.... I suppose to chat her up. We take the time to train up on the Pokemon in the grass, one of which we find is a fucking Crocaonaw, which we kill with ease.

After a little while we learn water gun and are ready to have a little chat with MAY, probably just to hit on her, but oh well.

We then meet May who's actually trying to capture Pokemon on ROUTE 103, and asks us if we like to battle. Wanting to be a show us we show her our Staryu with mighty glee... only to find... that her best friend and starter pokemon is

A fucking Mudkip.... which we kill in two tackles. May then get's a little upset and runs back to BITCH'S Lab, and so we follow on.

We then meet BITCH who asks us to carry out research in the field. He gives us our first Pokeballs to catch pokemon and a Pokedex to record our progress. May has a little flirt saying that she'll be doing the same and that we should make it a sort of game... And we're ganna fucking win!

After running out side we're stop by the best fucking mum in the world who gives us a gift for going on an adventure, FUCKING RUNNING SHOES! We glady accept and start running around like a titless Mankey.

Then comes the moment of hope, Our first two pokemon on the two new areas, the one just out side the town, and they one north of the town... our first winner is


A FUCKING PIKACHU which we call Lil Stuner. He has a Sassy nature and is such a good start?! So very very lucky
But what could we get next?

 A FUCKING DUSKULL which we call DarkFucker. She's a quite nature, only level two but has nightshade and levitate. Such good luck for starting three (could be better, but still pretty good)

Thank you for reading this part one of this written let's play, in the mean time I'll be leveling this little guys up and ill continue once we get to the next little town on the way, I wonder who we'll meet and what awesome Pokemon we'll meet in the next areas.

My names been ThespianHunter, I'm feeling like a fucking Pokemon master... and I'll catch you on the flip side.

Thursday, 24 January 2013

ThespianHunter's Ramble - 24th Jan 2013

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein
Hello my followers, welcome to a ramble. This is where I post my thoughts n' shit. I like to just put thoughts to paper every so often and just let you guys know what I'm thinking.

Firstly. Thank you to everyone who has supported the blog. I know it's being viewed and I reach about 30 views a post ish. Which is brilliant, I know this blog won't rapidly take off, but it's good to know people are getting enjoyment out of it. HOWEVER. how blogs work on Blogger could be improved. From what I find I get most of my non Facebook viewers via Google search. Which is by no means a bad thing, It means I'm covering things people want to know and to find info about. In fact you put ThespianHunter into Google it swarms with my stuff which is fucking amazing. However in terms of being followed by people on Blogger itself... It's more difficult. You see... Blogger, to what I understand, works like Youtube. You comment and like the Blog, I gets higher in the listings, it get's higher in the listings people actually read it. Which is what I want, I love you guys, but I would adore more people to enjoy my Blog. It's just the nature of it. I don't receive anything from this Blog other than the satisfaction that I'm entertaining people.

Second. I would love more feedback. I crave it. The magic of Blogger is that I've signed into Google+ which is also what your YouTube account is linked to. Honestly, you'd be surprised how much a little comment on the end of the Blog helps gain viewer ship. It would also be great to hear from people who don't necessarily know me other than from this blog. Would be awesome to hear your views.

Thirdly. Sorry that above sounds like begging. I just want to get something out of this Blog. It's understandable right?

Fourthly. Should I continue the Kabals of Thespious? It got a grand total of 6 views. It's the weakest thing I've posted. If people really like it, I'll keep it. Let me know.

Fifthly. If I did some sort of written account of a lets play, would you guys be interested. It would be a lot less analytically and the writing will be some what in the form of the section from my review of Assassins Creed 3 Multiplayer. Again if you guys would read it, I'll do it.

Lastly. I'm taking suggestions of what you guys would like to see in the form of reviews. When the new UFC game comes out, I'll be buying it on release and I'll give it a review pretty much in the week.

So... now my convocation to you, fine reader, I'm going to listen to some music I really shouldn't be listening to at the age of 20.

My Names been ThespianHunter, with the power of my face, I can make you feel awkward and I'll catch you next time.

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

What I think about: The Fable Series Part 2

Hello and welcome to ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. Last week we talked about my second favorite game of all time; Fable and it's rather poor sequel Fable 2. Tonight we're entering Thespianhunter horror land. Where everything that Callum loves and enjoys is torn apart by vicious animals and shat out like Play-dough through a straw (enjoy that image). Welcome to my thoughts on Fable 3 .. Please note I may use particularly strong language during this post. I do my best to bl***t it out, however you guy's arn't idiots so it's clear what the words actually are. I'm sorry in advance. 

Fable 3 The Worst Chapter
For this I thought it would be useful to firstly list the things I liked. Therefore I leave more room for me to bitch about the game. However the only plus for this game that I can think of is the cast of Voice actors. Michael Fassbender brilliantly captured the bastard brother role and was generally a detailed character. John Cleese as the butler, even though it's a no brainer, was a match made in heaven. and the list goes on and on and on and on and on. Honorable mentions are given to Simon Pegg, Sean Pertwee and Ben Kingsley as well as reprisals from Stephen Fry and Zoe Wanamaker. And that's the only good bit.. now for bad...

  • The southern continent was REALLY not my taste. This is an example of you can't please everyone. If this was a review I would have left this out. However this is an opinion piece, "What I think about" and I thought Aurora was kinda bland. The addition of ancient giant statues and temples would have interested me more if the player was told more about them. Nevertheless those structures acted only has center pieces and some eye candy to make up for the pretty bland areas of Bowerstone which was, to be perfectly honest, the worst looking bowerstone to date. It kinda looked like a bastard child of Fable 2 and Jack the Ripper, some more interesting building types would have been good, rather than reused buildings for entire streets. Aurora missed an opportunity. To be something radically different from any Fable game ever imagined combining elements of the Shadow court that had not been driven out by the Hero of Oakvale temple of Skorn like elements bringing back the generally scary feel that the temple gave me in Fable 1. The music also missed the mark, making me feel more like Indiana Jones than someone fearing for their life on the brink of death, or someone walking through dangerous uncharted desert.
  • Lack of Weapon variety. You best like Hammers and Swords kids. Cause that's all you're going to see in Fable 3. Where as in Fable 1 we had a decent selection of weapons (9 weapons types as well as different levels of craftsmanship as well as legendary for each type) in this game however. They seemed to listen to the whinny little brats who moaned for "more legendarys" as a result we got less types of weapons (2 Close combat and 2 ranged) and about 10 legendary versions of each in different peoples games, meaning that you had to trade to get all of them (+ there were those downloaded via DLC) This made the gotta catch them mentality grow exponentially at the sacrifice of diverse combat. In Fable 1 every weapon felt different. A sword was an all round decent light weapon where as the Pick-axe sacrificed damage capability to be faster to block with and to hit with. In Fable 3 the only differences were what you do more damage to. Furthermore the apparent 'shifting weapons' is so unpredictable and contrived it makes my head truly shake. You'll end up getting a sword that has a weird bone hilt because when the game went over your stats it found that you killed 1 more guard than you did bandits and there's no going back to change it other than starting a new game or praying the game didn't autosave (which you cant turn off)
  • The most evil thing is man! So, remember Trolls, Krakens and even spire guards that were in the previous games? Ditched. What has replaced them? 3 types of Aurorian stuff one of which is pretty much the Highway men from Fable 2. Remember Balverines? You don't encounter them in the story till the 2nd act and you don't encounter them in the wild until the VERY END OF THE GAME. Hobbs are still in the game however I will be honest and say that I preferred the ones Fable 2 (they got rid of the ones wearing stilts for lord sake.) Bandits come in only 2 forms Bandit and fire ball throwing bandit (which I liked). The undead make a return however they're very repetitive and hold no challenge for the player past the first encounter of them. But where's the other types of enemies? what about boss creatures? well there's ONE unique boss character/creature in the entire game. ONE! Fable 1 had (from the top of my head) SEVEN Fable 2 had two. The end boss (SPOILER) is a character introduced to you in the opening MINUTE of the game and he puts up next to no fight what so ever (Still better than Lucifer though)

  • The Dog. Why Peter? Why did you put the dog in the game? It serves no relevance to the plot. In fact a character interacts with the Dog ONCE. ONCE! In the entire fucking story. said interaction lasts for three seconds. There's no emotional bond to build with it, there's reason to care what happens to it and there's not even a point to paying any attention to it other than when it acts like a fluffy metal detector. Even then it's path finding is broken so bad that you're better off looking for the treasure yourself. Seeing this dog had one good effect though. It made me want to stop playing the game and take my Dog for a walk. Even if it was raining outside. What would have been cool? If you had created some sort of creature that followed you around and acted like a creature in black and white. Casting spells and shit. That would have been cool. Barking constantly and making you want to stuff cotton wool in your ears isn't cool!

  • I lost all connection to character and his story in the first few minutes of the game. It may possibly be a record. You see the thing is. Fable 3 assumes at points that you've already played the other Fable games. This is evident by nothing resembling a tutorial and no explanation the fundamentals that a new player would need to the story (about the Heroes guild, The Court of Shadow, Hero of Oakvale, how Hero abilities are preformed, why Heroes have an urge to eventually control etc. Luckily enough I know these answers. But I expect my character to ask these questions or at least be told about them, as we spend every waking hour with this character for what we're believed to be the stretch of about 2 years. In this time, none of the above is mentioned. Not even by Theresa how has literally been there since the beginning. And don't get me started on Hero blood line. (I'll talk about it anyway) When even one of your parents is a hero YOU BECOME A HERO. It doesn't skip children and it doesn't skip generations. Even in Fable 2 every single one of your kids would have the line "Daddy(/Mummy) Why can I do things the other children can't" A reference to the will powers evident in all his children. So why doesn't Logan have the power of will? It's a question that will never be answered however its a JOKE that the writers skipped over this fact and enraged me more than you would believe. I didn't believe for a second that the Prince/Princess in this story was a direct decedent of Scarlet Rose. Not for a second. On this note. Why doesn't the blood line ever get brought up again after Fable 1? In this characters blood there is the power TO END THE WORLD! even Theresa has the power to summon up from the void dark conjurations from the Old Kingdom and why doesn't she help with the events of the story. Other than being now over 700 years old. I feel that these sort of continuity errors (my best way to sum it up) have almost made the game unrecognizable as a Fable game. They should have just made it under a different name instead of tainting the original story like how it has been.
  • The cock tease that was the Crawler. So there are some speculations that that the Crawler and Fable the Journey's Temptress are supposedly agents of The Court of Shadow, however this is just mere speculation as they both seem to have Shadow minions under their command. There's also speculation that they're agents of William Black (the first Hero, First Archon of the old world, creator of the Spire, Original wielder of the Sword of Aeons and the distant relative of the Hero of Oakvale. However this is also just speculation and is never touched upon in the actual games. Gamer's and Fable lore nerds like me have been praying for the return of Jack of Blades or other members of the Shadow Court. Instead we're presented with the Crawler. Now he does have some cool moments, resembling Banshees from Fable 2, which in turn resembled Screamers which were in turn, servants of Jack. However you never actually fight him, he's scared of light and he has next to NO power over a Hero. And this was supposed to be the main bad guy. The most evil thing since Jack? Yeah... I'm not very convinced. He was very disappointing and seemed to be a huge fucking middle finger to those of us who wanted to see Jack again.
  • EVERY POINT made in the Angry Joe Show's video "32 reasons why Fable 3 sucked" I recommend that you watch it as there are actually 32 reasons why he hated the game. Such things include awful Co-Op, combat being too easy, the character not being able to die, the lack of menus, so many loading screens and many many more. Again, I highly recommend that you watch that video. It doesn't cover some of the points raised in this blog however. 
 On a side note I'm now on a total of 39 reasons why I didn't Like Fable 3. and there are so many. Including my issues with Fable 2.
I'll be honest with you, reader. I almost had a tear in my eye at how bad the Mass Effect 3 ending was. However this is a pale shade at the upset that I had at Fable 3. I know it's only a game. But to me it's also my childhood. Fable was how I interacted with my uncle whilst he was away with the navy. I used to level up his character, collect gold for him (I didn't realize how annoying that can be at the time). When I had a bad day at school, when depression got the better of me when I lied about things I shouldn't have and had to escape from the world. Fable 1 was my turn to game. It was escapism of the umpteenth degree for me. Some people have music, or books. I have video games and my own head. When someone RUBS SHIT into a story that you love and have a deep connection to you, you get pissed. Yes. I'm biased. Yes. Lion Head studios is effectively no more and there will be no more Fable games past this point unless someone has the balls to try and improve the cluster fuck if a mess this game is in. But this is a Blog. It's personal. When you destroy something that is dear to me. You make it personal. That's why I don't just Dislike Fable 3. I hate it!
... The Following picture is of a Cat.. I need to try n' cheer myself up! Tune in next time for Part 3...



 
Even the Lion is sad :(



Thanks for reading, If you have a positive or negative response let me know. If you think Sad Lion is Sad... let me know that too. I've been ThespianHunter... I'm going to cry in my pillow or some shit. I'll catch you next time.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

What I think about: The Fable Series Part 1


Hello and welcome to ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. Tonight's post is a subject that is very dear to my heart; Fable. Let's not waste any time! Grab your Hobbs and let's pounce in like a Balverine.
File:Fablebox.jpg

Fable was created by the infamous LionHead studio, and at it's head was the notorious Peter Molyneux who in turn is famous for being head of Bull Frog studios, famous for bringing us games like Dungeon Keeper and Theme park. The games take place in the mythical land of Albion, roughly based off a combination of different Angelo Saxonesk Fables (hence the name). The world is dark dangerous and at times lawless in most of its regions with Bandits, the undead and Hobbs (small Goblin like creatures) plaguing the land. The original installment of the series was released in 2004 for the original Xbox and received pretty decent review  from critics and raving review from gamer's and quickly became a cult classic ... and eventually the subject of the curse of Lion Head - but that's a story for later.

In the original fable (and Fable the lost chapters, an expansion to the game adding extra story elements as well as a number of improvements to the vanilla game) focused around the Hero of Oakvale; a powerful, selectively mute (as he only talked during social expressions and never during combat or in the story) Hero who as a child witnesses his entire village being raided by Bandits and his family butchered where they stand ... or so it seems. The boy is saved by a Hero from the Hero academy (a place where gifted individuals are trained to do the tasks normal humans are unable to accomplish and we then follow his path to vengeance and, more importantly, his path to unlocking the secrets of his family.

That's the bare bones however as many of you will know... this is my number two game of all time. So if you would forgive me, I'll delve into the finer details... If for some reason you wish to not read spoils, scroll down to the next picture. 


It soon becomes clear that the Hero's sister and mother survived the attack. His sister had her eyes cut out and became a blind seer for the Bandit king of Albion and his mother has been locked away in a deep dark Prison by the evil Jack of Blades (my favorite video game villain of all time)  It later unravels that Jack is after  a sword capable of apocalyptic power known as the Sword of Eons and wishes to bring the end of the world into fruition. To do so however he needs the blood flowing in your family veins and he intends on collecting by force. It even later unravels in The Lost Chapters that Jack is in fact a being a far darker origin and has in fact been in possessing those who wear his fated mask and has existed since the dawn of time. Once defeating him a first time, you must defeat him in his true, dragon form. Along the way you'll be betrayed, ambushed , and even imprisoned for up to 60 years if you fail to escape when a chance arises. You do everything from fighting in a coliseum, defeating the Kraken and even communicating with the divine.

For those who are wondering... why is Jack my favorite villain in video game history? Well firstly, its the original voice. I was perfect. Not one interjection was out of place, every pitch, every breath every single letter seeped with conniving evil. His outfit is also stunningly brilliant, with the masquerade masks on the face as well as the armor itself. Furthermore EVERYTHING he does makes you want to hate him. He does everything an antagonist should do. He's the barrier from you achieving your goals, he's the force you wish to defeat (even if you're evil) and he's frigging evil incarnate. You can't get much better than Jack of Blades.



As well as having a fantastic story line. There are also so intuitive mechanics to back it up. Firstly is the  alignment mechanic. It allows you to play the game ether as a Hero or a Villain. Will you save people from the dark forces that lurk in the wild? Or will you be said dark force in the wild? It's totally up to you and there are tons of opportunities to reflect your chosen alignment in meaningful ways. Fundamentally the choice is yours and that's the major advantage to the game. 

Secondly is the combat, and oh lord will you be doing a lot of it. The combat stiles are separated into 3 categories. First is strength, you gain experience from killing things will swords and axes n' shit and it governs how much damage you can take in combat, as well as how heavy of a weapon you can wield and how much damage you can do with each swing. The next is skill, you can skill experience from killing this with bows, stealing from shops and villages houses as well as generally being as quick as an elf. Skill not only governs how fast you are in combat but also how sneaky you are and how much damage you do with a bow. Then finally there is will. You gain will experience from going Gandalf/Palpatine/Jesus on people's asses. Will is all about spells and how many spells you can cast on people in succession. Such spells include turning into the incredible hulk, casting lightning bolts from your finger tips, surrounding yourself with magical swords, teleporting behind people ... the list goes on. You can choose to be a jack of all trades kind of guy, focus on one or two or even just focusing on the one and becoming a killing machine in your chosen field. Although in cases the game goes out of its way to try and stop you from doing anything but broadly leveling up. This is due to missions that involve the only way to killing an enemy being via range attacks and even a mission where you have to sneak past bandits. This can sometimes be a kick in the teeth however to be fair, you'll be wanting to have a lot of tricks up your sleeve.
 However with every success, there's a complete and utter chain of fuck ups. However the motives were pure. There was an out cry via fans of the series for a new Fable game, this time to feature on the Xbox 360. We longed to return to the land we belonged. To do battle with the creatures we knew and loved. We wanted Fable 2.


Thirdly, and what works to the games advantage is frankly, just the amount of stuff you can do on the side. You can do side quests for people (of which there's not enough for this to keep you unlimitedly occupied) Join fight clubs, steal from people, gamble, go out into the wild and kill shit at your leisure as well as minor stuff like unlocking demon doors and getting silver keys to unlock chest. You can even be a landlord of a pub... if you kill the original owners first of course. This allows for hours upon hours of entertainment and keeps players coming back for more, and even re-rolling a character to see how things could go differently if they, for example, didn't murder everyone.


What we got was... "Fable" 2


Ah yes! That fated trailer that made gamer's everywhere call to arms in ready to return to their fated home. And oh how it let us down.

Now to be honest Fable 2 wasn't awful game, it just was't as good as we were expecting. The story takes place through the eyes of a decedent of the Hero of Oakvale. In this dark Victorian themed future heroes have been driven out and all but exterminated. Individuals with heroic powers are very rare. However you have the powers in your blood line and through a cruel series of events. You're left almost dying and forced to become a Hero like your ancestor.
There's a return of the Hero of Oakvale's sister as well as star appearance from Stephen Fry and Ron Glass as well as a return of the series classics such as Balverines and Hobbs. There's also a return of the 3 point skill window however it seems very much simplified compared to Fable 1 and basically as a squeal. 

The problem is however so gleamingly awful that it spoils the game for me. Almost everything they added to the formula was shite. Here's a list I like to call:
Shit added to Fable 2 that was crap!
  1. Mans best friend. George Lucas put its right when he says that "you must be able to hear the emotion in your characters voice, by hearing this you can emotionally connect with the character yourself". It's why he flipped a lit when the makers of Force Unleashed originally wanted to make a game about a Wookie. It sounds strange given how we can relate to a Wookie but not the Dog in the Fable games. The reason being, that there's no advantage to looking after your dog. Not only this but the ways in which you do look after your dog are ether non-existent, awfully implemented or plainly too much of a hassle to carry out. The leading story from where we meet the Dog as a pup is quite heart warming and allows for some connection to the "character" however via combination of "You wouldn't go save Navi from a monster!" This, what was advertised as a leading feature, one which would "change how we play games forever" was crap. Cheers Pete.
  2. Death on two legs! The fact is. It is IMPOSSIBLE to die in Fable 2. You cannot die. It will never happen, You will fall to the ground and then kick the living shit out of everything around you. This means that there's NO suspense of any kind, no point in having to train your character to face what is to come and I'd even go as far as creating little or no point to doing ANYTHING other than progressing through the main story. THIS IS NOT FUN! An analogy if you would permit it. You're chatting up a girl. However it becomes obvious that not only is she not really that nice of a person but she also plays for the other team and isn't sexually attracted to you in any sense of the notion. You wouldn't go and buy her flowers, learn about her likes and dislikes and you wouldn't bother asking her out to lunch or out down town. Reason why? Cause what's the fucking point?! It would be like entering trails for a professional football team when you ain't got no fucking legs! The idea to make the character unable to die was one of the most stupid ideas ever conjured by a games developer. Cheers Pete
  3. You can take my blunderbuss nuclear cannon from my cold dead hands. This one wasn't necessarily something they did wrong, but something that didn't do right and it links with the previous link. When you become death on two legs the game becomes less about "what am I best with?" but rather "what is going to dispatch these people quickest?" This leads to anything other than power playing idiotic at best. Legendary weapons don't become side-grades of each other but rather there's the one weapon that is the best and the one ranged weapon that's the best and one spell, if you use anything other than these, you're an idiot. What would have made more sense if they had actually balanced each weapon and fighting stile instead of making Will too powerful and making range weapons a better choice than close combat ones. This also meant that if you wanted to play a particular play style you were basically shooting yourself in the foot. Cheers Pete.

Now we move onto the other list... this list goes far beyond what they added... this is the top 5 reasons why Fable 2 sucked
  • Number 5: The story. It was bland, inferior to Fable 1, It was far too short, the areas you explored were at times boring and the character saw itself returning to regions more than others and spending only one mission in one area. If this wasn't enough There's also little to no acknowledged to Fable 1's story in the slightest.
  • Number 4: Co-Op. It was awful. You couldn't go too far away from each other. There were frequent lag issues, there were no co-op themed parts in the game what so ever and due to the game being too easy, there was no need to bring a friend to the fight. Worse of all, it didn't scale at all, so it become even easier to play.
  • Number 3: Jobs. They're pointless little mini games that make you grind cash. They were boring, unimaginative and yet again, there was no reason for it to be there due to the fact you couldn't die
  • Number 2: the previous list.
  • Number 1: Lucifer the worst bad guy in the history of gaming. His voice actor was okay however didn't feature in the game enough for this to be a redeeming factor. There's no boss battle of any description  and... which may I just say... Is a joke to the gaming industry it's even possible that the FINAL boss of the game, is killed FOR YOU... Yeah, couldn't make it any more easier if you tried, could you Pete?! The biggest pity of them all is that they HAD a fantastic antagonist in the form of Jack, and they fans begged and pleaded to see him return. But no, the settled with grieving lunatic obsessed with domination. 
  


However in all fairness there was Fable 2 had some redeeming points. Firstly money management became much easier than in the previous game and it became possible to rent out houses without having to kill the occupants before hand. Furthermore visually the game looked far better, and at times became quite beautiful for its time. Also The player did get to return to some regions of Albion previously explored, however not enough history of from then to now was carried out.

So... this wraps up part 1. In the next part I will talk about the money making schemes of Microsoft as well as the dreaded F3 ( I can't even bring myself to calling it a fable game ) as well as F heroes and F the Journey

I hope you enjoyed reading my first part to the analysis of the Fable games  if you have a positive or negative response let me know in the comments bellow or just say anything... please... anything! 
My names been ThespianHunter I thought the Demon Door's name was SHIT and I'll catch you later












Monday, 31 December 2012

ThespianHunter's Top 10 Shenanigans 2012




Hello and welcome to ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. congratulations to everyone. We've done it! We've lived another year, a year that will be forever remembered as the year we didn't die, Britain didn't do shit in the Olympics and K-pop reached the western world. As is custom of this time of year, its time to shoe horn out as many Top 10 videos and posts as physically possible. But lets do this one with a difference. Cause this is my 5th post on Blogger and my magical number 10 post ever, ever, ever I thought it would be good to do a bunch of different Top 10 lists. So like the darling buds of may, lets climb every mountain and get to the good stuff. (feel free to read each sub heading in the style of Igor)




Thespian Hunter's Top 10 Games of 2012!!  

Number 10: SSX! 


I have a passion for snow boarding games. They're a lovely mix of the sandbox trick do-ers, like the skateboarding games that are shunted out every year, and racing game. Whilst still not having a story driven experience that I was looking for SSX nailed all the right categories and made its way in my top 10. This not only has brilliant game play and challenges to set against your friends but it also has an amazing sound track. If you're into this kinda thing, you probably already have it, if your curious, go grab it.


Number 9: Tribes Ascend  


Now whilst I was forced to play this game at a low graphical setting there's no doubting that this game looks and feels fantastic. I've sunk a lot of hours into this game early this year and has a whale of a time. It's skiing mechanic and its projectile, time based weapons work out for some brilliantly fast paced and intense game play. Just a shame that newly released weapons are way to powerful when they were first released. Still a fun game which I enjoyed.



Number 8: The Walking Dead


I have a confession to make. I've only played episode 1 and 2 but watched the others. And oh my LORD is this good. For a point and click game it pulls you right in and jumbles you around and you feel good about the entire thing. I nearly shat myself at some of the jump scares in this game and I returned to my key board wanting to be scared again. A Brilliant story, worthy of the walking dead licence. 

Number 7: Planet Side 2


Now, my computer struggles with playing this game and is incredibly slow the majority of the time. However I have had some countless accounts of fun watching and playing this game. The battles are on such an epic scale you find it difficult not to squeal a little when you see thousands of dudes Vs thousands of dudes Vs thousands of dudes. The game (on better computers than mine) looks fantastic and deserves a place on the list



Number 6: Dragon's Dogma 



Ah! This little gem. I'll firstly get the bad out of the way. Firstly lack of fast traveling is a pain in the ass and the class progression sucks ass. OK, that that's out the way, lets get to all the good. Fantastic enemy design, brilliantly simple combat mechanics as well as brilliant combat in general and a beautiful game world. That's only to name a few. As I said before what a gem. And I'm still playing it to this day and probably will into early next year as well. 

Number 5: FTL


 Now this was a tricky one, This nearly got the 6th place spot however in all honesty this game is number 6 for a big reason. This may just spark more brilliant games like this. With Dragon's Dogma RPG's have been made for years and if anything It's been calling back to the games that came before it. In FTL's case its a game that will be compared to others in its genre. This rogue-like strategic game puts you in the thick of it and is really fucking unforgiving. But it brings you back, every time, without fail. There's nothing better than shouting "Mr. Hyde, Power Up the FTL.... ENGAGE!" This game truly deserves its place.


Number 4: Assassins Creed 3


Now some of you may recall my review where a shouted at how disappointing the single player was and how brilliant the multiplayer was. It seems I may have been a LITTLE harsh. I stick to EVERYTHING that I said about the game and I know I dislike it. But I can't explain why I keep playing it. It suffers from "same game again" disorder that may games in our current climate suffer from but the combat is really, really good. I find myself just running through the streets of New York battering the shit out of any guard that I see and I get enjoyment out of it. Furthermore the Multi-player, which I dedicated an entire review to, has moreover kept me hooked to a good game. The game is good, but it could have been better.


Number 3: Mass Effect 3 


Oh yes, clench you're anus's feel the bewilderment take over you, haters of the God Child... There's a reason this is not number 1 or 2... Very simply put FUCK THE ENDING. The ending, even with its extended free DLC is awful and plants a shit stain upon all other games in the series. However the game play is fantastic, the story up to that point is without flaw (mostly). Though that's not why this is in my Top 3. The reason being the game play. the game play is without a doubt the best in a 3rd person shooter I've played in quite a while. It builds upon the combat from Mass Effect 2 and improves on it in bucket loads. The Multiplayer is fun and engaging and with all the free DLC offered with it, its worth your time and entertaining to play. Let this be a lesson, we play games for game play firstly, the game play was good and the story it borrowed upon from the other games allowed it to reach the top 3. HOWEVER. have a good ending otherwise you'll be renown for failing to make a game of the year.


Number 2: X-Com Enemy unknown


Some of you may not know that I'm a huge fan of this series. I've spent hundreds of hours playing previous X-Com games and they have a special place in my heart. This newest addition is no different. With its fantastic squad turn based strategy mechanics and its fun to play in environments as well and engaging and challenging AI this game deserves the number 2 place. The only down side being that Multi-player is glitchy as hell and there are a handful of bugs here and there which induce the occasional fits of rage. With that a side this game is a must have.

Number 1: Far Cry 3.


THIS GAME HAS MANY FLAWS! Just wanted to say that first. It was a total scrap for the first place spot but Far Cry 3 pulled ahead at the last minute. It's another case of different elements jelling together to make a brilliant combination of awesomeness which ya' just cant put down. However, the single player is too easy, there's no doubt about it. The reasons you die are ether you wanting to kill yourself cause someone got lucky and detected you or you get killed due to an obvious mistake on your own part. The inventory and crafting systems are garbage and the map maker tools have a learning curve that makes EVE online look like a casual game. However with all that said this game is till brilliant. With each mission you become more engaged, with each kill you gleefully smile, the story is engaging and shines light upon the human condition  and the in game world is stunning. If that wasn't enough the multiplayer is a barrel of LOL's and there's the map maker to lead for the potential of many, many hours of enjoyment. My game of the year.


So that was my Top 10 games of 2012. Honorable mentions go towards those who deserve them... and remember this was MY top 10, Like what you like, don't like what you don't. Just don't dictate what people should or shouldn't like. But what about my Top 10 games of all time? Are you curious of what games I call the greatest of all time? Yeah? Well read bellow and you'll find out.
ThespianHunter's Top 10 Games of All Time

Number 10: Supreme Commander and Age of Mythology



I know what you're asking... "But all mighty ThespianHunter, why have you put 2 games on the number 10 spot?" well my followers. I just cant pick between them. On the one hand we have Age of Mythology, a game from the legendary series of games the Age of Empires, a game with gripping strategy and interesting and creative units as well as a decent campaign and multiplayer. Then on the other hand..... a game with gripping strategy and creative units as well as decent campaign and multiplayer. You see my conundrum. I like both of these equally. They're both fantastic at what they do and have entertained me for hours. If I had to split them up I would maybe give Age of Mythology the number 11 spot, but that's something I just can not do. FANTASTIC GAMES.

Number 9: Warcraft 3


I would be doing myself a dis-justice if I didn't put this on my list however it wasn't just the game itself which made me love it (in fact, it was where I got my "SilentMasicar" from, the gamertag I had for many, many years) but my love was also down to the modding scene. It had everything from DOTA to a Pokemon game. A zombie survival game to even a game where you dodge sheep. It was this combination that led me to spending most of my early teenage years with this game. It also paved the way for the most played MMO to date. 

Number 8: The Elder Scrolls Morrowind/ Oblivion / Skyrim


Although at times the combat can be a bit on the dodgy side. These games still take the number 8 slot. Oblivion was my favorite of the series followed closely but Skyrim and oh my have I sunk a lot of time into these games. They're very fun, the worlds are a joy to explore and the story is by far one of the video game greats, and the music? Oh my the glorious music. If elements of it were better it would have made it higher, but alas.

Number 7: The Dawn of War games (Dawn of War 1 all expansion packs and Dawn of War 2 all expansion packs) 


You could have predicted that these would make their way onto my list. The managed to rekindle my love for Warhammer 40K as well as pay me countless hours of entertainment... My least favorite of the series (Dawn of War Chaos Rising) still counts over 14 hours of game play. I shudder to think what my hour count for Dawn of War Soulstorm is. Regardless these are fantastic strategy games and although Dawn of War 2 took away the base building, it's still a really fun game to play. I recommend these games to anyone.. even though the a thousand Baneblades thing was a bit OTT.

Number 6: Heroes Of Might and Magic (III and V)

One of the all time greats. These games have always been installed on my computer and I always come back to them. They're fantastically well made and engaging. The designs are second to none and frankly the amount of time I've spent playing these games beggars belief. If you like turn based strategy games GET THESE!

Number 5: Sid Mires Pirates


You know you simply love a game when you've got 4 different copies of it as back ups. I've always wanted to be a pirate sailing the ... 1 sea... and this game delivered. It's a truly brilliant game that entertains me to this day. How simply wonderful it is to plunder trade ships and sword fight like a pro!


Number 4: Star Wars Battlegrounds 


Done in the style of Age of Empire games, this little gem holds a very special place in my heart. featuring a bunch of factions from the movies. You can finally resolve who would win in a fight in glorious fashion whilst the AI cheats its way to victory at higher difficulties, played with friends I doubt you'll be able to pull yourself away from it for too long. accompanied by the classic star wars soundtrack this is easily one of my favorite games of all time. 


Number 3: Rome Total War


So, I may have had a series addiction to this at one point, but can you blame me? This game is without a shadow of a doubt one of the greatest strategy games of all time. with its intense battles and impressive for the time visuals. This game is just nothing short of a master piece. If you haven't played this GET. NOW.

Number 2: Fable- the last good game Lion Head made (NOT FABLE 2 or 3) 

The Gods and Demons you fear and worship are as nothing to me! Nothing will ever stop me! I AM a God"

That picture is of Jack Of Blades my favorite villain in video game history. Keith Wickham's voice acting is nothing short of amazing. The little screen time Jack has is made up for by how plane evil he is. He's the only villain I've actually wanted to murder time and time again yet at the same time, want to be like (in a video game sense) He's nothing short of legendary. However that's only a small part of why I love this game. Yes it's not very well balanced and It's relatively short, it's still even now my favorite story line in video game history. Even just writing this I want to play it again.... maybe something to show when the Youtube channel starts? who knows. The reason why this isn't number one? 3 reasons in fact. Reason number one is that fable 2 and 3 and terrible. Now before you cry out "but what about Mass Effect?" we're talking about a totally different kettle of fish with these disasters. Not only was the story nothing to do with the original epic but it  was just God darn awful (and to call them "Fable" games makes me want to stab myself with a spear in the colon.)  Reason number 2 is the plane and simple fact failing is an IMPOSSIBILITY. I don't mean the game is too easy or the hero is too powerful, I literally mean you cannot die. Who thought that would make an interesting game?.... I could spend an entire post talking about my problems with Fable 2 and 3 just know that Fable 1 is one of my favorite games of all time. The final reason is well, Number 1 is just too good.

Number 1: Black and White (Yes the other Good game Lion Head studios made)


Black and White.... What Isn't there to say about this game? It may be dated, it may by todays standards look like a pile of crap, it may feature only 4 voice actors (however in saying that you would think there was at the very least 20) though with all its flaws its still my favorite game of all time. In Black and White you play a God, born from a pure prayer. With the goal of ... what ever you want your goal to be. The over arching story is that the evil God Nemesis wants to be the only God and has set out to banish all the other Gods, including you. You must build followers and train your giant creature version of Jesus to conquer each world and ether spread love and peace or destruction and war. You can ether follow the quest line as soon as physically possible or you can take your time and cover the entire world in one giant village. Each person has their own daily routine, some do as you tell them, for example chopping wood, having sex with a prostitute, worshiping you for an hour and then going to bed. Some will just sit by a rock all day and talk about their day to day lives and up to seven thousand can be on screen at one time. entire villages can populate far more if you have the time to manage them. This game has so much to list them all would be insanity. I will list a few
Number 1. Throwing villagers off mountains and onto their homes in anger for them not worshiping you
Number 2. Setting fire to your own village
Number 3. poisoning your food supply and then when you followers beg for fresh food, only give them a single fish and wait for them to turn it into thousands of fish
Number 4. death via being eaten by lions  
Number 5: watching your creature do the moon walk
And many, many more. That's but a taster of why this game is my favorite of all time if that wasn't enough however... it also has multiplayer (which no longer has working servers but its easy enough to set up) so the fun can shared with your friends.

Then as Lion Head does, they brought out Black and White two which was awful... not Fable 3 awful, but still pretty bad.

So that concludes my Top 10 games of all time... I was asked by someone to do more Top 10's but ill save them for next time.
I hope you enjoyed reading these Top 10's if you have a positive or negative response let me know. Also let me know what your Top 10's are, will be interesting to know.

My names been ThespianHunter, I take way too much glee in throwing things off mountains... And I'll catch you next time.