ThespianHunter's Top 10 Shenanigans 2012

Hello and welcome to ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. congratulations to everyone. We've done it! We've lived another year, a year that will be forever remembered as the year we didn't die, Britain didn't do shit in the Olympics and K-pop reached the western world. As is custom of this time of year, its time to shoe horn out as many Top 10 videos and posts as physically possible. But lets do this one with a difference. Cause this is my 5th post on Blogger and my magical number 10 post ever, ever, ever I thought it would be good to do a bunch of different Top 10 lists. So like the darling buds of may, lets climb every mountain and get to the good stuff. (feel free to read each sub heading in the style of Igor)

Thespian Hunter's Top 10 Games of 2012!!  

Number 10: SSX! 

I have a passion for snow boarding games. They're a lovely mix of the sandbox trick do-ers, like the skateboarding games that are shunted out every year, and racing game. Whilst still not having a story driven experience that I was looking for SSX nailed all the right categories and made its way in my top 10. This not only has brilliant game play and challenges to set against your friends but it also has an amazing sound track. If you're into this kinda thing, you probably already have it, if your curious, go grab it.

Number 9: Tribes Ascend  

Now whilst I was forced to play this game at a low graphical setting there's no doubting that this game looks and feels fantastic. I've sunk a lot of hours into this game early this year and has a whale of a time. It's skiing mechanic and its projectile, time based weapons work out for some brilliantly fast paced and intense game play. Just a shame that newly released weapons are way to powerful when they were first released. Still a fun game which I enjoyed.

Number 8: The Walking Dead

I have a confession to make. I've only played episode 1 and 2 but watched the others. And oh my LORD is this good. For a point and click game it pulls you right in and jumbles you around and you feel good about the entire thing. I nearly shat myself at some of the jump scares in this game and I returned to my key board wanting to be scared again. A Brilliant story, worthy of the walking dead licence. 

Number 7: Planet Side 2

Now, my computer struggles with playing this game and is incredibly slow the majority of the time. However I have had some countless accounts of fun watching and playing this game. The battles are on such an epic scale you find it difficult not to squeal a little when you see thousands of dudes Vs thousands of dudes Vs thousands of dudes. The game (on better computers than mine) looks fantastic and deserves a place on the list

Number 6: Dragon's Dogma 

Ah! This little gem. I'll firstly get the bad out of the way. Firstly lack of fast traveling is a pain in the ass and the class progression sucks ass. OK, that that's out the way, lets get to all the good. Fantastic enemy design, brilliantly simple combat mechanics as well as brilliant combat in general and a beautiful game world. That's only to name a few. As I said before what a gem. And I'm still playing it to this day and probably will into early next year as well. 

Number 5: FTL

 Now this was a tricky one, This nearly got the 6th place spot however in all honesty this game is number 6 for a big reason. This may just spark more brilliant games like this. With Dragon's Dogma RPG's have been made for years and if anything It's been calling back to the games that came before it. In FTL's case its a game that will be compared to others in its genre. This rogue-like strategic game puts you in the thick of it and is really fucking unforgiving. But it brings you back, every time, without fail. There's nothing better than shouting "Mr. Hyde, Power Up the FTL.... ENGAGE!" This game truly deserves its place.

Number 4: Assassins Creed 3

Now some of you may recall my review where a shouted at how disappointing the single player was and how brilliant the multiplayer was. It seems I may have been a LITTLE harsh. I stick to EVERYTHING that I said about the game and I know I dislike it. But I can't explain why I keep playing it. It suffers from "same game again" disorder that may games in our current climate suffer from but the combat is really, really good. I find myself just running through the streets of New York battering the shit out of any guard that I see and I get enjoyment out of it. Furthermore the Multi-player, which I dedicated an entire review to, has moreover kept me hooked to a good game. The game is good, but it could have been better.

Number 3: Mass Effect 3 

Oh yes, clench you're anus's feel the bewilderment take over you, haters of the God Child... There's a reason this is not number 1 or 2... Very simply put FUCK THE ENDING. The ending, even with its extended free DLC is awful and plants a shit stain upon all other games in the series. However the game play is fantastic, the story up to that point is without flaw (mostly). Though that's not why this is in my Top 3. The reason being the game play. the game play is without a doubt the best in a 3rd person shooter I've played in quite a while. It builds upon the combat from Mass Effect 2 and improves on it in bucket loads. The Multiplayer is fun and engaging and with all the free DLC offered with it, its worth your time and entertaining to play. Let this be a lesson, we play games for game play firstly, the game play was good and the story it borrowed upon from the other games allowed it to reach the top 3. HOWEVER. have a good ending otherwise you'll be renown for failing to make a game of the year.

Number 2: X-Com Enemy unknown

Some of you may not know that I'm a huge fan of this series. I've spent hundreds of hours playing previous X-Com games and they have a special place in my heart. This newest addition is no different. With its fantastic squad turn based strategy mechanics and its fun to play in environments as well and engaging and challenging AI this game deserves the number 2 place. The only down side being that Multi-player is glitchy as hell and there are a handful of bugs here and there which induce the occasional fits of rage. With that a side this game is a must have.

Number 1: Far Cry 3.

THIS GAME HAS MANY FLAWS! Just wanted to say that first. It was a total scrap for the first place spot but Far Cry 3 pulled ahead at the last minute. It's another case of different elements jelling together to make a brilliant combination of awesomeness which ya' just cant put down. However, the single player is too easy, there's no doubt about it. The reasons you die are ether you wanting to kill yourself cause someone got lucky and detected you or you get killed due to an obvious mistake on your own part. The inventory and crafting systems are garbage and the map maker tools have a learning curve that makes EVE online look like a casual game. However with all that said this game is till brilliant. With each mission you become more engaged, with each kill you gleefully smile, the story is engaging and shines light upon the human condition  and the in game world is stunning. If that wasn't enough the multiplayer is a barrel of LOL's and there's the map maker to lead for the potential of many, many hours of enjoyment. My game of the year.

So that was my Top 10 games of 2012. Honorable mentions go towards those who deserve them... and remember this was MY top 10, Like what you like, don't like what you don't. Just don't dictate what people should or shouldn't like. But what about my Top 10 games of all time? Are you curious of what games I call the greatest of all time? Yeah? Well read bellow and you'll find out.

ThespianHunter's Top 10 Games of All Time

Number 10: Supreme Commander and Age of Mythology

I know what you're asking... "But all mighty ThespianHunter, why have you put 2 games on the number 10 spot?" well my followers. I just cant pick between them. On the one hand we have Age of Mythology, a game from the legendary series of games the Age of Empires, a game with gripping strategy and interesting and creative units as well as a decent campaign and multiplayer. Then on the other hand..... a game with gripping strategy and creative units as well as decent campaign and multiplayer. You see my conundrum. I like both of these equally. They're both fantastic at what they do and have entertained me for hours. If I had to split them up I would maybe give Age of Mythology the number 11 spot, but that's something I just can not do. FANTASTIC GAMES.

Number 9: Warcraft 3

I would be doing myself a dis-justice if I didn't put this on my list however it wasn't just the game itself which made me love it (in fact, it was where I got my "SilentMasicar" from, the gamertag I had for many, many years) but my love was also down to the modding scene. It had everything from DOTA to a Pokemon game. A zombie survival game to even a game where you dodge sheep. It was this combination that led me to spending most of my early teenage years with this game. It also paved the way for the most played MMO to date. 

Number 8: The Elder Scrolls Morrowind/ Oblivion / Skyrim

Although at times the combat can be a bit on the dodgy side. These games still take the number 8 slot. Oblivion was my favorite of the series followed closely but Skyrim and oh my have I sunk a lot of time into these games. They're very fun, the worlds are a joy to explore and the story is by far one of the video game greats, and the music? Oh my the glorious music. If elements of it were better it would have made it higher, but alas.

Number 7: The Dawn of War games (Dawn of War 1 all expansion packs and Dawn of War 2 all expansion packs) 

You could have predicted that these would make their way onto my list. The managed to rekindle my love for Warhammer 40K as well as pay me countless hours of entertainment... My least favorite of the series (Dawn of War Chaos Rising) still counts over 14 hours of game play. I shudder to think what my hour count for Dawn of War Soulstorm is. Regardless these are fantastic strategy games and although Dawn of War 2 took away the base building, it's still a really fun game to play. I recommend these games to anyone.. even though the a thousand Baneblades thing was a bit OTT.

Number 6: Heroes Of Might and Magic (III and V)

One of the all time greats. These games have always been installed on my computer and I always come back to them. They're fantastically well made and engaging. The designs are second to none and frankly the amount of time I've spent playing these games beggars belief. If you like turn based strategy games GET THESE!

Number 5: Sid Mires Pirates

You know you simply love a game when you've got 4 different copies of it as back ups. I've always wanted to be a pirate sailing the ... 1 sea... and this game delivered. It's a truly brilliant game that entertains me to this day. How simply wonderful it is to plunder trade ships and sword fight like a pro!

Number 4: Star Wars Battlegrounds 

Done in the style of Age of Empire games, this little gem holds a very special place in my heart. featuring a bunch of factions from the movies. You can finally resolve who would win in a fight in glorious fashion whilst the AI cheats its way to victory at higher difficulties, played with friends I doubt you'll be able to pull yourself away from it for too long. accompanied by the classic star wars soundtrack this is easily one of my favorite games of all time. 

Number 3: Rome Total War

So, I may have had a series addiction to this at one point, but can you blame me? This game is without a shadow of a doubt one of the greatest strategy games of all time. with its intense battles and impressive for the time visuals. This game is just nothing short of a master piece. If you haven't played this GET. NOW.

Number 2: Fable- the last good game Lion Head made (NOT FABLE 2 or 3) 

The Gods and Demons you fear and worship are as nothing to me! Nothing will ever stop me! I AM a God"

That picture is of Jack Of Blades my favorite villain in video game history. Keith Wickham's voice acting is nothing short of amazing. The little screen time Jack has is made up for by how plane evil he is. He's the only villain I've actually wanted to murder time and time again yet at the same time, want to be like (in a video game sense) He's nothing short of legendary. However that's only a small part of why I love this game. Yes it's not very well balanced and It's relatively short, it's still even now my favorite story line in video game history. Even just writing this I want to play it again.... maybe something to show when the Youtube channel starts? who knows. The reason why this isn't number one? 3 reasons in fact. Reason number one is that fable 2 and 3 and terrible. Now before you cry out "but what about Mass Effect?" we're talking about a totally different kettle of fish with these disasters. Not only was the story nothing to do with the original epic but it  was just God darn awful (and to call them "Fable" games makes me want to stab myself with a spear in the colon.)  Reason number 2 is the plane and simple fact failing is an IMPOSSIBILITY. I don't mean the game is too easy or the hero is too powerful, I literally mean you cannot die. Who thought that would make an interesting game?.... I could spend an entire post talking about my problems with Fable 2 and 3 just know that Fable 1 is one of my favorite games of all time. The final reason is well, Number 1 is just too good.

Number 1: Black and White (Yes the other Good game Lion Head studios made)

Black and White.... What Isn't there to say about this game? It may be dated, it may by todays standards look like a pile of crap, it may feature only 4 voice actors (however in saying that you would think there was at the very least 20) though with all its flaws its still my favorite game of all time. In Black and White you play a God, born from a pure prayer. With the goal of ... what ever you want your goal to be. The over arching story is that the evil God Nemesis wants to be the only God and has set out to banish all the other Gods, including you. You must build followers and train your giant creature version of Jesus to conquer each world and ether spread love and peace or destruction and war. You can ether follow the quest line as soon as physically possible or you can take your time and cover the entire world in one giant village. Each person has their own daily routine, some do as you tell them, for example chopping wood, having sex with a prostitute, worshiping you for an hour and then going to bed. Some will just sit by a rock all day and talk about their day to day lives and up to seven thousand can be on screen at one time. entire villages can populate far more if you have the time to manage them. This game has so much to list them all would be insanity. I will list a few
Number 1. Throwing villagers off mountains and onto their homes in anger for them not worshiping you
Number 2. Setting fire to your own village
Number 3. poisoning your food supply and then when you followers beg for fresh food, only give them a single fish and wait for them to turn it into thousands of fish

Number 4. death via being eaten by lions  

Number 5: watching your creature do the moon walk
And many, many more. That's but a taster of why this game is my favorite of all time if that wasn't enough however... it also has multiplayer (which no longer has working servers but its easy enough to set up) so the fun can shared with your friends.

Then as Lion Head does, they brought out Black and White two which was awful... not Fable 3 awful, but still pretty bad.

So that concludes my Top 10 games of all time... I was asked by someone to do more Top 10's but ill save them for next time.
I hope you enjoyed reading these Top 10's if you have a positive or negative response let me know. Also let me know what your Top 10's are, will be interesting to know.

My names been ThespianHunter, I take way too much glee in throwing things off mountains... And I'll catch you next time.

Kabals of Thespious Episode I The Deldar Menace

Hello once again everyone, this is the ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. Today we're ganna start a reoccurring series of posts. As many of you may be aware I have recently rekindled my love for Warhammer 40,000 after a 12 year hiatus and have begun collecting the armies of the Dark Eldar. So in this series of "Kabals Of Thespious" I will be talking about what it is like to collect the armies, paint them and how they perform as an army. I'll also be posting battle reports when they happen as well as my general thoughts of current affairs and news.

So without any further ado some background on the Dark Eldar... From my point of view of course!


(http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=Dark+Eldar#/d49ne8h) For this awesome artists post...just so awesome!

So for those who don't know a lot about the Dark Eldar or who they are, they are basically a splinter sub race of Space Elves who populate the Milky Way galaxy. In their disregard for the consequences of their actions, through thousands upon thousands of blood orgies and other questionable acts. The daemon God Slaanesh was born. Through that birth cry the majority of the Eldar were whipped from the face of the galaxy. Some chose to repent their ways and act as guardians of fate. The others saw no need to change, found a nice little section of the web way (a large parallel dimension which the Eldar built) and just carried on. However there's only so much pleasure you can get out of blood orgies, and with their souls being slowly drained away by the God Slaanesh, the dark Eldar sought new ways to extend and enrich their lives. Then one fated Dark Eldar thought (probably) to himself "you know what? Lets fucking start a bar fight!" and as this blessed man made the people around him wallow in pain, he found his soul being enriched. It was through this the Dark Eldar began to torture and kill thousands upon thousands of slaves to prolong their fate of being 'nomed' a gooden by a God and so they can orgasm of the pure thrill on it. And this is what they've been doing for thousands upon thousands of years. Capturing Slaves, making them work the factories and then ether torturing them to death or some other un-godly form of dealing pain.

Now, we can spend a metric age on discussing the different aspects of Dark Eldar society and all the different types of evil and twisted things that enhabit the dark city of Commorragh (the place where all Dark Eldar live!) however it will take far to long to fit in but one introductory post. If you wanna learn more specifics ether check out 1d4chan's extensive page on the Dark Eldar or buy yourself the Dark Eldar Codex. 

However in the interest of time, I'll only give you a quick crash course in some of the units that feature in my army.

(warning this army is by no means cannon. I'm pretty sure this army is in a lot of dark Eldar players heads however)

So let's introduce some key members them:

Archon Thespious: Me... pretty much, though in Dark Eldar form... maybe he has a blog on different forms of Dark Eldar entertainment however it would be far, far, far too dark to post on this blog. He started the Kabal as a splinter faction. 10% of the profits made by the the Kabal go towards bribes to keep in good regard with some of the larger Kabals. (Thespious is a total Vect fan boy!)

Haemonculus Victor: I'm sure he'd enjoy long works in the park and holidays to a small time suburb, but Victor would soon ether start setting the plants on fire or killing all the people he could see so he sticks to his tower. When he does decide to come down from his tower or venture into real space he does so with an army at his side, often ether a few hundred warriors or his pet Talos Pain Engine. It's not sure if his body guard are there to protect Victor... or to protect others from Victor.

Sybarite Malice: A true expert in his field, Malice excels in keeping those under his command safe and issuing the orders to his squad from there the Archon or from Victor. He fights like a freshly awoken daemon and never falls into bodies parts to keep him stood are removed. He's famous for this poison whip and his armor that seeps with the blood of his enemies. He's been killed many times however his master always brings him back from the dead via regrowth in the torture pits.

Talos Pain Engine Tali: Origins of what/who Tali was before it became a Talos Pain engine are unclear. Some say it used to be a pretty young Dark Eldar woman who out of jealousy was murdered and her body sent to Victor, others state that Tali is the remains of many dead warriors attached together via dark mysterious sciences. All that is known is that Tali is kept in cryostasis within Victors' dark tower. Once Tali has reached the battle ground he is awoken, charging straight into enemy lines killing all that stand in its way. It's current known kill tally include; 7 assault marines, 23 Tau fire warriors, 2 crisis battle suits, 2 stealth suits 4 tactical marines and many many more in its only short time of being created.

Kabal warrior Mr Pointy: He looked at his weapon and thought to himself "you know what I need? More spikes!" And oh lord did he get them. He covered himself and his weapon in as many spikes as he could get his hands on. (Mr pointy should so be a special character ... just saying GW)

(http://beckjann.deviantart.com/#/d5kb5bn) another awesome image by Beckjann

So those are the individuals but what about the army as a whole? How does it play?

Well  as many of you may know it's been remarked that the Dark Eldar are a difficult army to play and they're not kidding! Out of the 8 matches I've had I've won 2 (should have been 3). This being because most of the time their armor save is garbage! For wyches you're looking at a 6+ save, warriors a 5+ and Total armor value of a Raider being 11 all round. The army is utterly made of paper... paper made of TINY razor blades. Dark Eldar Kabal warriors are the definition of death via shooting! Hitting on 3's wounding ALWAYS on 4's meaning more often that not at least half of your attacks are wounding... accompany this with a splinter racks on a raider and you're killing entire squads at a time. Furthermore Pain Engines serve as close combat monsters, with their 3 wounds and 3+ armor save it's staying in the fight long enough to kill plenty of units and with its d6 attacks ... well put it this way, once the Pain Engine reaches its target IT'S DYING! there's no question about that!

However for me the biggest problem is keeping my stuff alive long enough to kill the enemy I'm facing. I hope the addition of Incubi and more Raiders will help my army start winning more matches. And some help from the laughing God wouldn't go amiss.

Well that's all for this post, just a small introduction of what I'll be doing with this series I hope to get some battle reports to tell you guys about as soon as I can. Also expect another post tomorrow as I round off  the year some interesting Top 10s. As always thank you for taking the time to read this, if you have a positive or negative response please let me know in the comments on facebook or just bellow this blog. Feel free to share the shit out of it if you want. I want to spread the awesomeness to as many people as possible (and try and let me know if you're reading these, and those who I may not know personally don't be shy, leave your thoughts here as well.

My name's been Thespian Hunter.I love to HOIST THE FLAG!!!!!! and I'll catch you next time.

What I think about: Pokemon Games/TV Series/Trading Cards/Movies

Hello you horrible lot, this is the ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. I am your Pokemon Master ThespianHunter. GET OUT YOUR BALLS!!!!!

The Pokemon Franchise

It may shock some of you to know, that I was a child once. When I was about 5 year's old my uncle exposed my fragile mind to The Nintendo Game Boy and my life was changed forever. Incapable of any form of serious technicolour, the Game Boy featured some famous games that have changed our gaming world for all time. Such games include Mario World, Tetris and Mega Man II. The Game Boy was arguably the most popular portable Gaming Device at the time and has paved the way for handhelds including the Nintendo DS and the Playstation Vita. Without the Nintendo Game Boy I hedge a bet that gaming wouldn't be the same. Soon games were released that were capable of pushing to colour spectrum from just the black and green to different shades. With the release of the Super Nintendo the extra processing power allowed for one other colour to be added .

Soon my parents observed how much fun I was having playing Mario World and Tetris and as a result brought me my own Nintendo Game Boy.

One fated game was the legendary Pokemon Red (and Blue). Developed by Game Freak and published by Nintendo in Japan 1996, the game eventually made its way into Europe and onto my Game Boy. I can safely say even to this day I have only completed ONE Pokemon Game and Red wasn't it but I played the shit out of it. The difference between Red and Blue was purely what colour it was. In Japan where the game was originally released Pokemon Green was available and added no difference in colour other than which is the classic green screen we all remember. 

Pokemon was an interesting take on the JRPG of which Final Fantasy made its homestead. The difference being that the player had a huge selection of different Pokemon he could capture and add to his squad of monster battling bad asses (to a maximum of 6 at a time.) One of the games tag lines was "gotta' Catch them all and players were encouraged to capture and evolve through gaining XP by battling other Pokemon, beating trainers to get money and then buy more Pokeballs so the circle of animal cruelty 101 could continue  

The original Pokemon Games offered a possible 150 Pokemon to collect and battle and, if you had a connector, battle against your friends to dispute who was the ultimate Pokemon Trainer.

The games received a HUGE amount of positive review both from critics and gamers. And so, like a Daemon Prince spewing out from the warp, the Pokemon franchise was born.

And that's not even all of them!

Soon the Pokemon Anime was born, staring Ash who must  ,as the thousand of children before him, travel around the world collecting Pokemon and Pokemon badges and proving to them all that he was the greatest of them all. Every so often there would be a touching tale of friendship and its importance and other typical story lines covered in Anime's but really the under lying story was "KICK THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE EVER!" Which got repetitive come the second series. But alas theirs over 5 series of Pokemon... all including the "I GOTTA KICK THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING" story line. Which, for a while at least, is kinda interesting but gets really boring really quickly. However kids keep watching them, so they must be alright... maybe I'm just old. These were then followed by a number of movies which were used the basically be series finals and ... well.... we'll get to them.

After a number of episodes were made the Trading cards were released. These homed on the different mechanics that make the Game Boy games interesting. You may have a level one Pokemon in your hand that has no evolution stage and can hold its own pretty well however requires a lot of energy to use or a Pokemon that starts really weak, but ever a length of time can become very powerful as you draw evolutions. 

The Trading Card Game was very interesting and is still very popular today. I still have my first edition Fire deck which I'm pretty sure would still kick ass.

Since then, Nintendo 64 games have been released, a hoard of Pin ball games and even a "rail shooter" which involves the player having to take pictures of Pokemon.

So there's your whistle-stop tour of what Pokemon is, but the question is, what do I think of it? Am I a raving Pokemon manic? or am I as slow as a slowpoke? Well, as quick as a Quickattack, lets get to it.

FIRSTLY! THE GAMES!

As some of you may know, I still dip into playing the occasional Pokemon game I play a few ROMS here and there. (considering Pokemon Blue in peak condition can set you back $120)however... they're alright I guess. I mean, I can remember me being far more into them and wanting to try and capture them all. But it's game play is really repetitive. Furthermore as you go through the generations you still see the original 150 even in some of the latest games. Why? Well, the newest games have come under critic with the fact that a lot of the new Pokemon are kinda crap... Example? This Fucker here!

What is it you ask? This my followers is a Vanillish. Its, you guessed it, a fucking ice-cream! "ah but this is obviously a weak level One Pokemon" Well... no. This is a second evolution level 35-47 Pokemon.

WHO THOUGHT THAT THING WAS GOOD?!

I'm sorry, but when you present a fucking ice-cream as a "new and cool Pokemon" Don't be surprised if you get some complaints. It defiantly seems that the different Pokemon types is being diminished and one wonders how long they can keep this series going. As much as I like the expansion of an IP, in my opinion Pokemon is dying a slow death. There either needs to be some new breath breathed into the series otherwise we may see it die.

But that's not my only problem with the games. I take a very strange cynicism towards the slowly growing competitive scene the game is receiving. Yes ladies and gents, where we can have gladiatorial arenas and have Pokemon tournaments.   

I don't have a problem with people competing with friends to see who is the best. But this scene has really expanded with "professional" tournaments filling up venues and with hundreds of Pokemon LP's covering You-Tube.

Now, you have to ask, "why do you have a problem with it?" Well... Remember the o' catch phrase "gotta catch them all" ? Since when has that had ANYTHING to do with the Pokemon games. It's diverted away from its original purpose and has turned to "gotta push the stats to as far as they can go" It turns a fun collecting game of wild monsters into number crunching. It has taken the casual out of the game and has replaced it with a calculator. 

As a casual game, Pokemon is good. As a competitive game, my eye brows are most defiantly raised!

My Final result for the traditional Pokemon games is a "OK" If you're looking for a interesting take on the JRPG formula, grab one of the originals (I recommend Heart Gold or Soul Silver) if you're looking for a series to sink your teeth into, I personally think you've joined it too late. Best just grab the one game.

Secondly! The Anime

I can honestly say without shame I have watched the entirety of season 1 within the space of just one week. And I (from what I can remember) thought it was alright. The repetition of shot every now and then does get, well, repetitive and it hasn't aged well at all. Season 1 is as cheesy as it gets. With *trying to control anger* Pikachu and Ash not growing up at all mentally. Which brings me to what I think is the weakest factor. Ash and Pikachu. Pikachu as a Pokemon has female appeal being a little yellow thunder mouse constantly on PMS but in later series you wonder how Pikachu just doesn't kick the shit out of everything! I mean, the thing must be at least level 250 by now and yet still struggles with a a rat.

But Ash? Oh my. Ash is by far, one of the most annoying, idiotic and down right just annoying characters ever conjured by man. He (although voiced by a she) has one of those voices which grains away at your soul and has never learnt a life lesson for longer than two episodes. He's a moron who needs to be encased in carbonite and never seen again.

My thoughts of the Anime "Not so good" the redeeming factor that some of the fights are at times fun to watch if it wasn't for the huge amount repetition of shot.

 

Next! The Trading Card Game!

I've been demonstrating a lot of hate for Pokemon so far. Time for something to try and redeem the franchise. The trading cards are... pretty good.

The cards have been iterated over the almost 10 years they've been around and the art work on them is fantastic. They're not only very detailed by also colourful and use the space of the card to excellent effect. 

The game itself is also very entertaining and can quickly escalate as Pokemon are evolved and switched out to strategic effect. It can be intense and CLEARLY (unlike the video games) has competitive play in mind.

The trading card is still bought in large numbers today and played competitively in hundreds of competitions around the world.

My thoughts on the Trading Card Game? "Pretty good!" If you want to try this out, try it free online. This may be a Trading Card Game which those who like such things may want to start.

Finally... the one you've been waiting on...

I'm going to focus on the First movie as its the best example of why I hate these Movies so much as they have the same problem in all of different movies.

The film is basically an hour long episode that is either too deep for little children to handle or is just too long to air on TV. However this isn't my problem with the movies.
Take a moment to look at the title... "Pokemon...The First Movie"

This film was openly advertised as "the first" being pumped out to be watched as merely the next installment in the franchise. Not only this, but the films are awful. They have all the issues that the anime TV series has accompanied by not only having to pay to watch it but also a boredom fueled dragged out experience that settles on the same ideals the movie started with. Nothing ever changes no characters are developed. It's merely "KICK THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING- THE FILM"

My opinion of the Pokemon Movies? "God Awful" I'd even go as far to say its "Cthulhu awful", being the second thing I've given the accolade to. Avoid like the plague... Unless you wanna take the time to watch something that's terrible.

So, what are my final thoughts on the Pokemon franchise? Well, there are aspects that I like, including the original Pokemon games and the Trading Card Games. However the franchise has been expanded until its braking point. Ever since the creation of the Anime it has been a money making scheme to drain as much money from people as physically possible. It's evident in the advertising, the constant factory line of content with no iteration or work upon the original formulas, be it capturing and battling Pokemon or the life adventure of what it is to be a Pokemon Trainer. It's a classic example of innocent kids being exposed and hooked.

But in all saying that, I enjoyed the majority of the time I had with the games if you're willing to find them and the Trading Cards are still popular although I admit if you don't like Pokemon you're not going to like the anything else the franchise has to offer.

Thank you for reading this collection of thoughts on the Pokemon Franchise. If you have a positive of negative response please let me know in the comments either on this blog or on face book and take the time to read other posts on this blog.

My Names been ThespianHunter, I wanna HM05 so we can both use TM32 and so I can use TM07... And I'll catch you next time.

AWWWWWW

The Assassins Creed 3 Drinking Game

Hello you horrible lot, this is the ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. I am your prophet Thespian Hunter. OOOOOOOH YEAH!!!

Today we're getting drunk in time for Christmas with the Assassins Creed 3 drinking game. Bellow you'll find the basic rules and the what you need to play.

The Assassins Creed 3 Drinking Game

What ya need

2-6 Players recommended.

Each player requires their own drinks (spirits recommended)

A copy of Assassins Creed 3 played far enough to be able to play as Connor and get past tutorials (Sequence 7+ recommended )

A controller

A stop watch

1 six sided dice

2 cups

a coin

The character must remain in Boston at all times

Instructions

Each player takes a turn in rolling the dice. Who ever gets the highest takes the controller and starts playing the game. They are immune to drinking forfeits until the end of the round (10 minutes)

The two cups must remain with the person currently playing at all times and the coin must be placed in one of them. The game then starts.

The player has 10 minutes to run around and complete certain objectives. If he fails to meet all objectives or dies he must do 2 shots. Then each player rolls off to determine who goes next

The following objectives he must complete, (which when completed result in the other players must take half a shot) are as follows

1. Player must achieve level 3 suspension level and then lose it without killing a guard

2. Player must achieve 3 rope dart assassinations from a perch and hang the target.

3. Player must use a musket rifle to kill 10 guards via close combat

4. Player must use musket rifle to kill 10 guards via range combat

5. Player must kill the following animals without dying (dog, cat, chicken)

6. Player must kill 3 Jägers with their own weapons

7. Player must kill a guard from around a corner, inside a hay bale and atop of a building using his hidden blades

The following things if the player does he/she must forfeit the round and a roll off must begin for who plays next

1. Player uses the following weapons against an enemy: Small weapons (like knives and axes), swords blunt weapons smoke grenades or bows

2. Player calls in an assassin to help him out

3. Player rides a horse

4. Player has to refill on rope darts because he's wasted them before completing objective 2

5. Player kills a cow or a turkey (cruelty to animals beyond what is asked will not be tolerated)

6. player dies

7. Player leaves Boston

The following things if the player does the others must take a shot
1. Kills a Jägers
2.A Jägers does damage to the player
3. Player gets shot
4. Connor pulls an expression like he's passing a kidney stone (camera will zoom in)
5. Player wipes out an entire guard patrol 

The following things if the player does he/she must take a shot

1. climbs atop something tall, like the top of a church of the mast of a ship

2. Player either takes fall damage, is knocked over, is grabbed or gets blown up by his own explosives.

3. Player swears during game play... we may be drinking but swearing is irresponsible and must be punished via taking a shot!

4. Another player manages to steal the cup with the coin in it from the player playing the game and places the coin on the table and places the die above it. (if the other player takes the wrong cup he must take a shot)

PLEASE REMEMBER TO DRINK RESPONSIBLY! 

Do not put yourself or others in danger if they can't handle it... you can laugh at them later!

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this, if you have a positive or negative response please let me know in the Facebook comments or the comments below if you can, or just let me know somehow, I like responses. Please forgive any spelling or general dyslexic mistakes I try my hardest. Thank you everyone who read the last reviews And let me know know if you participate in the drinking game and how it went! 

My name has been ThespianHunter, my blood is 40% oxygen,20% gold and 40% alcohol, and ill Catch you next time! 

The Assassins Creed 3 Multiplayer Player Review

Hello folk of the inter-webs, this is the ThespianHunter Blog. Where I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. I am your cult leader Thespian Hunter. Let's get it on!

Firstly as a side note thank you to everyone who viewed the last review, it puts a smile on my face when people actually take the time to read my ramblings. Please like and share this review if you get some form of entertainment out of it. I appreciate it more than you could possibly know!

Today's agenda! Assassins Creed Multiplayer! Does it save the game which in the last review I pretty much called "kinda' average"? Does it turn an Ok game into a good or great game? Does it become a useless tie in that makes no sense in the game lore and become the 'shit stain' of an RPG? Lets find out... Lower the gates!



Yes it is awesome when you do this on the person who's killed you three times in a row and yes its a funny pose!

To those you are currently bewildered that Assassins Creed has a multiplayer component or those who have been living under a very small rock, this is the run down. 8 v 8 cat and mouse styled hunting. Points are awarded depending on how you kill your enemies. Low points if you run around like a maniac and on roofs and having long chases through the streets. High points if you manage to blend into crowds and kill your targets before they know what hit him. A mix of killing your targets and making sure you yourself don't get killed.

As much as I like the format (and i really like the format). I'm still longing for a death matched mulitplayer mode with actual combat. You can ether kill (in which there are a lot of different ways of doing so, from poison darts, to dropping from the tops of roofs, to using a hidden blade) or stun them. There's no fight scenes in ally ways trying to kill your target before your pursuer spots your position and runs in for the kill. And more importantly, there's just no sign of the awesome fighting mechanics that are found in the main game. It's kinda funny, where stealth isn't wanted there's no 'balls to the walls' crazy action, and where there's 'balls to the walls' action, you're forced down that root and discouraged from forms of stealth game play. A pity over all.

In any case what is here is one of the best multi-player components in an RPG, and I mean that earnestly!

So, does the multiplayer make sense in the terms of the story? Yes! You play as one of the thousands of people playing Abstergo's (Abstergo being the Templar organisation that now dominates the world, being the equivalent of microsoft on steriods) new game where you play the lives of a real person stored on a data base within Abstergo's database. As you level up you see adverts and documents for Abstergo products in the modern world and then as you complete certain in game challenges, like kill 5 players from a roof top or using certain abilities, you unlock hack versions where the real meaning of these adverts and documents, explaining how Abstergo have such a strong grip on the world today.

This gives the multiplayer context and enriches the experience. Some players may still think its forced and it does seem that the game play was made first then the context was added, and this has been the way for the other games too. It's the marmite of the gaming world. You ether like this kind of stuff or you hate it.


"Is this my pursuer or a member of the crowd?" ... Ignoring his actual pursuer closing in behind.  

In any case the multiplayer format has been worked upon and improved over the course of the development time and post development time of Assassins Creed Revelations. The result is not only fun game play but something that leaves you on the edge of your seat as you search for the last kill in the final minutes of the game to put you in first or staying alive as you're hunted by Second place who is mere meters away from you!  This multiplayer is intense and very entertaining.

There are many different game modes to keep you entertained as well, from team based modes where players have to capture objectives and bring them back to their teams base. All the way to a simple free for all with no abilities available.

On the subject of abilities, boy are there a lot this time round! Everything from creating a clone of yourself to run towards your chaser and punch him in the face to throwing down smoke grenades to stun your target allowing you to get an easy kill. There's even kill streaks and death streaks which level the field. If someone's taking you to the cleaners and you're left eating last place like the last supper, you have some form of mechanic to make the game less painful for you and obviously make the game more interesting. If someone is winning by a land slide, for example eleven kills in a row without being killed or stunned, then the players gets rewarded for doing so. Such boons include turning up to twenty people around you to turn into clones of yourself allowing you to hide in large groups and forcing your pursuers to play the guessing game in a decision that could cost them a lot of score, to just increasing your score further or giving yourself a little boost. All of these are well balanced and don't subtract from the game play or make the game tedious. For one these streaks are very difficult to obtain, making a player lucky if you manages to pull off one streak award per game. Two, the awards are subtle enough that they just give the player a small edge as long as the player uses the advantage well enough.

 

A picture showing the Assassins Creed 3 equivalent of Domination, where teams fight to control areas to gain points.


For those looking for customization, you'll find it in droves in this game. The ability to make yourself stand out from the crowd (in a good way that doesn't get you killed of course) is available to those who want it. You can customize everything from whether your character wears glasses or a monocle even what color their shirt is. Other than your character you can also customize your profile. Such examples include your nick name that comes up when you sink your axe into their skull and even little emblems that show somewhere on your characters clothing.  There's a lot to play about with if you have the in game currencies to buy them. These come in the form of credits earned by doing well in the actual game and "Erudito" credits that can be brought for about £7 or ranging amounts Microsoft points on the Xbox 360. Whilst the general consensus towards micro-transactions for a game that you've just spend £40 pounds for seems to be negative I don't have that much of a problem with the Assassins Creed 3's version of it.It's not like the Mass Effect 3 ones where it's down to chance if you get something or not, forcing some people to horde different packs in the hope they get what they want. Here, you buy the points and you spend them on what you seem is fair. If you don't want to wait around to level up and put in the 10 games that would be needed to get the points so you can buy to object, then the ability to achieve it without the wait is available. It's good for those who don't have the time to play hundreds of games to get the edge they need to play competitively.

There isn't a pay to win scenario with this. Only a pay for convenience, and I'm totally ok with that.

The level design in the maps this time around is fantastic, ranging from New York docks, to frozen Antarctica with a giant pirate ship in the middle of the map crashed onto an ice berg. The level of detail is brilliant and the levels are not only designed perfectly for cat and mouse play but they also open up to become even larger in team based games. Leading to some out of this world chases. There's even winter versions of most maps to add further variety, which make hiding in certain crowds easier and in some cases decreases visibility to add an extra level of difficulty to those who want it. As if that wasn't enough, some locations are actual locations from the game, which add that extra level of immersion.


So... how does it actually play? Well the following paragraph is a small tale from a section of one of my games. The following took place over 1 minutes of game play. Reading this will allow you to imagine the fun and excitement you could have whilst playing this game yourself.

Hiding behind the gate as one of my pursuers draws nearer to my location I start to hear the whispers of a hunter lurking near to their pray. I then suddenly come to the realization that a member of a near by crowd walking towards me is in fact an enemy player. I watch closely to see any telling signs of someone trying to infiltrate their way towards me and sink their blade into my face so I can ether play my escape or my counter attack. After zooming in my camera closer to see any odd movements I notice that one member of the group is moving faster than the others. The fool has failed to let go of the fast walk button and starts to stick out like a sore thumb. My smoke grenade however is still on cool down after I used it to stun my target running away from me, and it seems I need it now more than ever. If this person manages to kill me in a certain way, it will boost their points high enough so that they can be above me in the tables... I cant allow that to happen. I stay in my hiding place, a bench with two people who look like me sitting on it, to draw out the encounter as long as I can allowing me to strike against my foe. He fails to detect which is me. 3...2...1... ready! I rise from my bench and walk eagerly towards my target whilst a clone of me stands up and walks the opposite direction. Does my enemy think I'm going to attack him, or run away? Has he out predicted me and has his own ability at the ready? As I move slowly towards him I get ready to hit my ability button to throw a smoke grenade and get the stun. My target walks right on past me and towards my clone... "no need to use an item when I don't need it" I mutter to myself in glee. I sneak up to my target and BANG! Smack him in the back of the head. As I walk away to my next target the poor fools' pursuer drops from a roof top and delivers the final blow.



Death comes in many forms. During this co-op game mode of hunting NPC targets there's no where to hide anymore.

Moments like these make this game so exciting and tense and games can go on for up to twenty minutes allowing for many moments like these to happen.You could be in the deepest trouble and then rise to victory due to cleaver game play and out thinking your enemy. The game awards the devious with the gratification of killing those who stand before you.

There's also a 'wolf pack' mode for co-op play as well. A team of four have a certain amount of time to find and kill targets, with each kill the time increases. The objective being, to kill as many targets as you can. This is both challenging and entertaining for those who are new to the game and seasoned veterans. Wolf pack mode not only adds yet another layer to this cake of awesome but also allows friends to just go out their and kill a bunch of people, and who doesn't want to do that?

So what do I think about the Multiplayer? Well, its great. It serves fantastically as a mode for those who want to play both with their friends and enemies as well as being something fun to challenge yourself with and have fun with complete strangers. This mode not only enriches the game as a whole but also acts as yet another time sink for those who just want to stab people in the face.

Which leads me to what I think of the game as a whole.

Well whilst I have my problems with the single player components of the game, and I'm still looking for a game mode to add multiplayer combat. Whilst the game is tacky in places and doesn't award stealth game play enough when it should. This is still a good game. Its a good sequel and I think you should buy it, if just wait for it to reduce in price. However for what is offered and you've enjoyed the previous games in the series there's enough here to warrant the asking price. It's fun and you'll sink hours into the game. Just don't give your hopes up too much for it. It's possibly not MY game of the year. But it comes close.

Thank you everyone for reading this review, if you have a positive or negative response please let me know in the Facebook comments or the comments below if you can, or just let me know somehow, I like response  Please forgive any spelling or general dyslexic mistakes I try my hardest. Thank you everyone who read the last review I hope this one gets as much viewership. I do this, after all, for you guys so let me know what you think.

My name is ThespianHunter, 1010101000100101010101010101011010101010101 and I'll catch you next time...


No one expects the Assassin Inquisition?

The Assassins Creed 3 Single Player Review

Hello welcome to the the newest format to the Thespian Hunter shenanigans! I'm (if you haven't figured it out already)  Thespian Hunter. I chat shit about games, films, table top games and a whole bunch of useless crap we call entertainment. Today we'll ("I'll", however for some reason people like to feel like their involved in the processes.... their wont be much 4th wall breaking a promise) be looking at Ubisoft Montreal's latest offerings in the form of Assassins Creed 3. Put on some music, some stylish reading glasses and some comfy socks (had to make some sort of list of three) and let's get to it!! 

!!!!!!!!!!WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!

The game begins with a lovely little throw back to previous games while being narrated by Desmond's father an apparent big shot in the Assassins a secret group of smart minded individuals who have dedicated themselves to preserving freedom and battling the EVIL Templars! An organisation who have dedicated themselves to preserving order and battling the EVIL Assassins! ... standard plot. The difference is in the form of the Animus; a machine that can allow certain individuals to relive their ancestors lives as if they themselves were living it. Desmond (our main character) must travel (kinda) back to live the life of his ancestor Ratonhnhake:ton, which apparently no one can pronounce so his name is swiftly changed to Connor (pictured above.)

I wont mention too much of the story and I'm going to assume that most of you know the past events of the other games. For those who don't Desmond must find the resting place of "the key" (really fucking original name) so he can save the world from being burnt to a crisp by a solar flare. And guess what day its supposed to happen. Yes! You guessed it kids. 20/12/2012 I shit you not! Before I get onto the gameplay I would like to make it aware that the modern day story is such a pile of crap it makes me want to throw my controller at whoever wrote it! I mean seriously was the story written by a couple of students who loved watching crappy films on the SyFi channel ? The reference to the 2012 prophecy is tacky and cheap and serves no really purpose other than "HEY GUESS WHAT WRITERS, WE CAN LINK IT TO THIS HERDERP!" I mean please, writers, stop doing this!
The Animus story itself is good for the most part, you first play Connor's father who is a total bad ass and has some of the coolest lines and situations in the game. There's also a HUGE spoiler related to his character, which even I don't want to spoil (you need to check it out, it's such a good twist M. Night Shyamalan would INSTANTLY steal it to make a tacky film. It very much catches everyone off guard.) His segments involve doing the classic stuff in the past games, killing people from roof tops, recruiting people for your personal hit squad of awesome and being a nice guy to the unfortunate Indians (native Americans.) 

Speaking of which after the "OMG THE SPOILER" moment we then live the life of Ratonhnhake:ton who learns how to do assassin-y things in the style of his upbringing (like hunting and playing hide and seek.) The two character play-styles compliment each other kind of well. Connor can do all the things Haytham (Connor's father) can, however only Connor can climb in trees and use weapons like rope darts and bows-and-arrows. It seems that some back and forth play could have suited well however it wasn't to be in the actual game, however there is a mission where the two fight together against evil mercenaries which leads the way for some interesting dialogue.

BUT! Connor as a character is so FUCKING boring. it combines the inability to act of the likes of which would make Kristen Stewart a likely award winning nominee, the segments in which he speaks native american ,although seems kinda cool at times, feel contrived and forced it just slows the the pace of the game to a crawl. And he also seems such a bloody idiot. I mean, do I really have to explain to you how knocking on a door and waiting for "some guy" to let you in over the space of three days is BAD game play? Do i really? Connors early missions are boring and very slowed pace. There's a mission of which the objective is to walk from one side of the in game map to the other. It's boring and feels like filler (you can of course fast travel but I'll get to that later) 



Said "some guy" is the awesome and crippled Achilles Davenport, Grand Master of the Assassins in the new world. He's kinda cool, but his death is kind of pathetic when compared to his title.Take a minute to think about the cool scene that could be have between a Grand Master vs the Templar and the awesome fighting scene that could happen. Now imagine that all that happens is one night Achilles gets sick. Now realize THAT'S WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS! And this is my second problem with the game. It misses opportunities like a blind guy misses a target with a shotgun! There is SO much potential with this game. Achilles could be a total bad ass of which the world has never seen, instead he's a moany old bastard who spends his time complaining about the problem instead of getting off his crippled ass and doing something about it! Instead it's left to Connor to do everything. 

The game takes parts in 4 locations on land and pretty much 1 location at sea (I'll get to it) The first two are Boston and the frontier. Boston being the port home of the revolution and over flowing with red coats and the frontier being... woodlands ... lots of them. Then there's Davenport estate, being a small woodland with a river going through it (which the player gets to build up and allow people to live there so they can do shit like making barrels and making axes made out of beaver teeth with which Connor gets to assassinate bears with) and then New York ... a port town overflowing with red coats. This is my next problem. Yes the areas are as big, the frontier equivalating to the size of Rome in AC:Brotherhood, but they're so unvaried it beggars belief. Instead of giving us newly developed cities, plantations owned by slave runners or even towns run by pirates (which were around at the time) we're left with 2 by 2 directly similar areas with very little going for them. The outer areas are interesting, taking place in hunting grounds allowing the player to chase rabbits for hours and roads so you can ambush red coats with trip mines (if they're not set off by a goat before hand) or use a rope dart to hang them from trees, but in time these areas become a bore to travel through and become a pain in the arse to traverse. ( I will get to the problem with quick traveling I swear)

The locations on sea are interesting. For those who are currently going "WHAAAAAAA?! SEA YOU SAY!?" yes sea I do say. Connor being the lucky little native american he is, gets to requisition a battle ship and can sail the ... 1 tiny stretch of coast line to battle pirates 'n such. Which sounds awesome doesn't it. Well... I'm sorry guys. You wanted Sid Meier's Pirates with Assassins and Red coats. We got a horse shoe'd in game mechanic that kinda get's boring after about 5 missions (only 3 of which you need to do to complete the game, I'll get to that later too) there's no boarding mechanic, apart from ONE mission where you get to do it on ONE ship and its so mind bogglingly simple it makes you wonder "what was the point of that again?" You seem to destroy most ships with one volly of cannon fire (which i will admit is quite satisfying) and then other ships you can sink by doing the classic naval maneuver of ramming it... BECAUSE RAMMING WOODEN SHIPS IS SAFE!




After these missions are done you feel wanting more, but never getting what you wanted, there's ship customization but most are direct upgrades, not "side-grades" that make your ship more interesting, and you're stuck with the game constantly acting as a tutorial on every mission. There's also no free roam ability with the ship and instead you're stuck in these fixed small areas with objectives like "sink the ship" and "defend the ship" and "ship the ships and defend the ship" and every so often there's "destroy the port" which is really frustrating first time round.There was so much potential here and only 40% of it was actually met. Its a fun Mini game but doesn't add much. 

And OH BOY are there mini games. Ever wanted to save the world via a game of checkers, Assassins Creed 3 is the game for you! I mean, who thought that was a good idea, you don't have to do them (unless you want to get 100% completion in which case, have fun playing bowls against someone who can defy the laws of physics by throwing a ball) but there's never any attraction in wanting to do them ether. It's like going out on the town and seeing a guy outside a club with a sign saying "Don't go clubbing! read the Torah instead!" It slows the pace and becomes a nuisance. 

On that note, the game really does have a problem with pacing itself. (finally back to fast traveling) The obvious way to get around most of this is to fast travel. However by doing this you risk in losing (and I'm really not shitting you here) 50% of the game. Yes ladies and gents by not spending 50 minutes walking from Davenport to New York you risk losing half of the game. Fast travel is supposed to make it easy for players to get to what they want to go, which is play the game. So you know what is a bad idea, having a fast travel system that makes you miss a majority of what you want to be doing. And what is the fast travel system? I can literally explain it in 2 short sentences - "press start got to the map. Once there's click A twice on where you want to go" and that's it! You can go to ports and carriages instead but these are so few and far in between they take away the point of having a fast travel system in the game. When you're not running from point A to point B you can be ether running after pages caught in the wind (which is really fucking fun, I joke really, its like running around the front room trying to be an airplane) or doing other pointless and non interesting shit like trying to find big foot, which is actually one of the more interesting side missions. 

This takes me to another point. Fighting. 


For an ASSASSIN, you really do a lot of fighting. And this time round, it's really good! It takes lessons from Bat Man Arkham "enter place here" games, allowing players to take down 3 guys at a time, use bottles during bar fights and strangle people with ropes lines only to turn them around and use them as a shield against musket fire. When its not people you're fighting, there's the wildlife. Which is actually quite bad. It reduces your ability to fight to a quick time event which if you fail, you get eaten and die. So I recommend you keep your wits about you when fighting bears. 

The weapons are pretty much the same as before, however replacing the sword (although if you really want one you can still have it) with an axe which functions exactly the same as using a knife and it shows. In fact fighting with a knife is so awful its animations are the exact same as if Connor had an axe in his hand. Disagree ? Since when did you see someone impale a man through the skull by hitting him with the SIDE of a knife? Muskets make their way into the game, and they are quite fun to use, even the Duckfoot pistol with 3 chambers is fun however good luck trying to keep a rifle with you. Connor really doesn't like holding rifles and will drop it at the closest opportunity, which is a real shame since they're the most fun to use. Combat is still pretty easy though, you can still kill most guys with to presses of a button and kill entire squads in seconds. Bigger guys can cause trouble at first however once working out there are two types of attacks its back to being simple "press X to kill world population" Jagers will be a pain the arse however, unless you run away shoot them. In which case, they will die really quickly. 

But why do you want to fight, I mean you're an Assassin after all, not "mass murdering machine" What about the stealth mechanics?.

 This is by far the weakest part of the game in my opinion. Stealth is ACTIVELY DISCOURAGED IN MOST CASES! Yes most missions you must avoid detection for 1 minute however as soon as that minute is over, you can start shooting people with your guns without ANYONE hearing. As soon as you try to go on a roof, you're instantly detected and you're met with rifle fire reducing your health to a puddle on the floor. You try and ambush targets rather than charge into them? They notice you in the trees (as there are no decent ambush sites other than climbing a tree) and open fire, killing you instantly unless you charge them. But kill people in the streets with grenades and use rifles instead of bows and arrows, and you can be like fucking Jack the Ripper hardly being noticed. The game is so backward it actively awards you being fearless and charging in all guns blazing like its November the 5th, and punishes you for your attempt to kill people in a sneaky manner. ITS NOT HOW ASSASSINS ARE!  

Also in terms of the assassin's arsenal there isn't really much of note, you get cool weapons like the beaver axe and the rope dart and using smoke grenades and trip mines is fun. But yet again the player is wanting more and never getting. After my second play through I managed to collect 2 rare weapons and I had apparently completed over 80% of the game, when ignoring having to go back on yourself to get perfect scores on missions. 

As for the Desmond sections of the game... *sigh*
 I'll talk about the final mission and you can gather what I think of it from there (there will be no spoils don't worry) You managed to kill the guy with the gun, now you have to make your way through the offices killing people with one bullet each, you never have to reload, and the firing output is so effective no one can get close to you. You do this for 10 minutes and then get to the boss and shoot him in the head, You head back to the Bat cave and jump back to Connor for a bit. The pacing is horrible and it's no where near as fun as the Connor Game play!



As for the bad ass battles like in the trailer ... yeah... there's none of that, instead you get to run to the side and miss the thousands of badly animated troops in front of you and do heroic things like, telling men when to shoot at the right time, and basically playing a tower defense game with cannons. It's a sad moment when in a review you have to say " the big battles are some of the dullest moments in the game" You have so little to do with the outcome its laughable and, of course, Connor takes ALL the credit and replies with lines like "This is the last victory I deliver to you!" Because God knows what Washington would have done if the native American hadn't jumped from the rocks like he did and killed that one guy like he did. Honestly its laughable, it makes ET the game look like a hardcore strategy game. Its disappointing as hell! 

Also the game encourages NO exploration at anytime. There ARE things to do on the side like side missions to get people to live in your estate and finding big foot but the game is possible to complete with ONLY doing the main story line, at least Assassins Creed 2 had the codex pages, here there's nothing, you can accidentally complete the game with only playing about 40% of the missions. Naval missions are a joke in the sense that that you don't have to do any of them and you don't have to upgrade your ship at all. They're all the same as the last mission and act as merely something to do if bored with killing thousands of people with three X presses. You can instead do it in one. 

But even saying this, why would you want to play the side missions? The majority of them are so piss poor in their design and execution you'll want to go back to chasing Templars at the nearest chance you get rather than pissing about finding buttons in chests. 

The following are other good and bad points about the game that I feel need to be discussed however do not warrant an entire paragraph.

• Shit ending - like, really shit, think of it like Mass effect 3 but with only ONE decision (which may or may not open the way for more Assassin Creed games and does it in a shameful fashion if so)
• There's not enough things to craft - Your Crafting and selling involves most of the time making barrels and selling them to one of three stores in the game which the only difference between them is time it takes and chance of being attacked (which is really tedious to remedy, it involves running across the map, finding your caravan and killing red coats around it, in all the space of five minutes)
• Game does well in making you hate the British AND Americans - my fears of the game being "YAY AMERICA" are put to side by having both British and American governments being total arse holes (which they are) Washington is a bossy winy jack ass, and British troops act like they did at the time, shooting people at the first sign of riots. They also do a good job in liking them too. You really feel like you're doing what the world needs rather than what any faction needs.
• Animus Database is a pain to read - turns out getting Danny Wallace to read extra lines isn't financially sound. Which means that if you don't like reading you're going to miss out on a good history lesson.
• Hunting is a pile of crap - You get two choices, sneak up on the deer and wait for it to get close, maybe even spend £20 on some bate to get it to walk close to you faster or chase the rabbits as fast as you can. The latter being more profitable? what sort of hunting mechanic is this?
• Voice acting is at times pretty good - excluding the main characters the voice acting is actually really good (but don't get me started on the shocking French and German accents!)
• Animation quality is improved - you feel more like a free runner darting in and out of tight corners and easily traveling over objects like fences and under objects like washing up lines
• Connor REALLY wants to free run - having all the free running controls on one button means that Connor will run up walls when you don't want him to, dive into rivers when you wanted him to jump to the next tree and having what you would think to be simple movement across an area turning into an acrobatic display.
• Glitches oh the glitches - some non game braking like having men walk on the spot rather than around the camp or shop sells not being able to talk to unless you re enter the shop,  and some game braking, like hunting a deer that's stuck in a tree having Connor fall through the world to his death or the ONE bonus objective impossible to complete if you retry the mission on a later date or at the time if you don't have at least 3 arrows in your bow
• The brotherhood mechanic is awful - you can compete the game without even having to use it ONCE the missions you send your team on are boring and cant be replayed there's a set path each time, there in game fluff behind them is poor
• AMAZING graphics - Best looking game on the market as of yet
• AWESOME MUSIC - The best soundtrack in a series full of good sound tracks

So, what do I think in final thought? Well the game is a fun game, it improves on the previous games in its presentation, as well as its game mechanics. The story is mostly fun making you cheer for the main character (even though he's annoying) and care about the people your fighting with and against. It's by far the best Assassins Creed game to date. 

However the game is flawed is so many respects, especially it's side quests that are so dull, uneventful and unrewarding you often wonder why you're doing them, only to remind yourself (it's for the 100% completion, which doesn't seem worth it) The combat is still too easy however they've somehow made sneaking harder to pull off when you want to do it and easier when you're running around mass murdering the city. It's a game that could have been SO MUCH MORE and seems to give you what you've waited for, only to then see the final credits. There's a few missions to do at the end, but they're not what the player is looking for! Naval missions are disappointing but fun for a little while and the lack of variety makes replaying the game a chore.

Thank God for the Multiplayer?... I'll get to next time... 


Thank you everyone for reading this review, if you have a positive or negative response please let me know in the Facebook comments. Please forgive any spelling or general dyslexic mistakes I try my hardest. I'll be posting the Multiplayer review as soon as I can. I'm also sorry for the delay of posting this review, I said i was going to do it weeks ago but things came up... I've gotta eat after all!My name's Thespian Hunter, I sometimes wish I was a squirrel. And ill catch you next time. 



Don't get me started on that C###